Claremont Friends Meeting statement on Friends and Email

RantWoman's closet full of half-prepared Christmas presents includes this item and permission from a Friend at Claremont Friends Meeting to repost.

 

RantWoman has a tangle of thoughts derived from an email exchange related to this policy. It's on the shelf of half-sewn, not ready for the Christmas tree items and may or may not emerge timely.

 

In the meantime....

FRIENDS AND EMAIL:

Guidelines, Concerns and Reflections

Offered by the Committee on Ministry and Counsel of Claremont Friends Meeting

The rapidly-evolving realms of electronic communication—from email, websites and listserves to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, My Space, Friendster and beyond—pose both great opportunities and challenging issues for Friends. The complexity of these issues is compounded by generational differences: while most older Friends make regular use of email and websites, Quaker youth live in a new universe of additional electronic media. Concern for good Quaker process struggles to keep pace with this unfolding and multifaceted revolution. Most Friends understand that the revolution is irreversible. We need a collaborative effort to address it. For the foreseeable future, youth will be pioneers and teachers of the new technologies; the wisdom of older, seasoned Friends can bring the technologies into harmony with good Quaker practice. These “Guidelines, Concerns and Reflections” are provisional. Like The Elders at Balby, we offer them not “as a rule or form to walk by, but that all with the measure of light which is pure and holy may be guided . . . for the letter killeth, but the Spirit giveth life.” (1656)

The following is adapted from the “Milwaukee Friends Meeting Report of the Ad Hoc Committee on E-mail Communications,” by Kay Augustine, Elizabeth Evans, Tom Fritz, and Susan Perkins, June 10, 2010.
On the Positive Aspects of Email:

• Email allows for convenient and rapid exchange of information.
• Sending and reading emails may occur at the convenience of the sender and receiver.
• Emails also provide a written record of communication.
• Attachments to emails allow easy sharing of documents.
• When responding to an email, one may take time and care to compose a reply.
• When emailing multiple parties, a sender can ensure that all receive identical content.
• Email can be enlarged for those with difficulty seeing.
• Joint emails can be a convenient way to arrange meeting times and places, and to circulate agendas, minutes, and informational notes.

On the Negative Aspects of Email:

• Email is a poor medium for corporate discernment. Lines on a computer screen or down-loaded page cannot convey the full range of communication—facial expression, tone of voice, body language, etc. Thus emails can easily be misunderstood.
• Conveying delicate or sensitive information by email is especially challenging.
• The ease of email increases the likelihood that a message intended only for one person or group are inadvertently sent to others.
• Heavy reliance upon email contributes to information overload—and both the writing and the reading of email messages are labor intensive.
• The sender of an email may not be aware that the recipient is out of town (or checks his/her email rarely) and thus may falsely assume that a message has been received.

Please turn over.

Access issues: Those who do not have computers or whose computer skills are minimal may be left out of the loop. Even when recipients are computer literate, emails—and especially attachments—sometimes cannot be opened. Spam blockers often bury email communications in junk mail files, where they may never be read.
Recommendations:

• Whenever possible, corporate discernment should be conducted face-to-face, or when that is not possible, by means of sensitively-managed telephone conference calls.
• Access issues should be handled sensitively—for example, by arranging for an email buddy who agrees to communicate with persons who lack email access.
• Because computers do not always talk to one another, it may be helpful to send attachments in more than one format (for example, in both “pdf” and “.doc” formats). Pasting an attachment into the body of the email message avoids the “I can’t open your attachment” problem.
• When emailing time-sensitive materials, consider following up with a phone call to ensure that the intended recipient has indeed received the message.
• Sensitive email communications should not be forwarded without the author’s consent, and should be carefully stored or archived to preserve privacy.
• Read written communication carefully and take time before responding. Write clearly, reflecting on how one’s words may be read by others.
• Exercise discretion about the use of names, remembering that your message may be read by those for whom it is not intended.
• Remember that in all communications, we are asked to cherish one another. If in doubt, let love be your guide.

Revised and approved in CFM Meeting for Business on 27 January 2013

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Hanukkah Day 6. Fire Photon Torpedoes

Again in the zone of peculiar gratitudes and ferocious Light, a  couple weeks ago Meeting for Worship featured two "please hold me in the Light" messages, one with an implicit request and one more explicit.

The more explicit request: a Friend was facing surgery for breast cancer. RantWoman found herself thinking of RantMom and a blind friend both of whom suffer miserably from neuropathy after their cancer treatment. RantWoman is terribly glad to have both still among us and terribly glad RantMom is finally admitting she finds neuropathy a giant nuisance in the kitchen. Blind Friend would quite like still to be able to read Braille and no longer can.:The words that did not make it out of RantWoman's mouth: "well, of course I must hold you in the Light...and we will still love you even if all the treatments give you neuropathy."

The implicit request to be held in the Light came from a Friend needing to monitor vision for signs of a detached retina. Friend REALLY likes to read and RantWoman has to assume the phrase "detached retina" sounds absolutely terrifying.  RantWoman GUESSES she gets to be grateful to have resisted slight nudgings toward "attack of the trauma all stars" comments. RantWoman definitely qualifies for opthalomology frequent flyer points and has plenty of opportunity to get in touch with joys of repeatedly being Exhibit A for newly minted opthamological technicians and having to remind them of long history.

RantWoman's history includes the term detached retina, twice, in 3 languages just to explain to key groupies. RantWoman's detached retinas did not qualify for simple laser beams tacking things back in place. RantWoman's option was MUCH more invasive including a band around each eye and a gas bubble inside for weeks. On the bus, one on one, RantWoman in other medical situations has found herself hearing some version of "been there. Done That.Got the T-shirt and a bunch of hardware and some more frequent flier miles besides. RantWoman has not felt called to spell things out in Meeting for worship for the whole community to hold either. Instead RantWoman gets to be grateful for Star Trek.
The one time RantWoman had to have something ophthalmological done with a laser beam,all RantWoman could think of was "Fire Photon torpedoes!" RantWoman does not want to speculate whether that comment would be helpful for the Friend who spoke. It certainly covered RantWoman's experience with a shock wave and a precise enough quantumof energy to remind RantWoman of some laser-themed mad scientist moments in summer science programs in high school.

Fire photon torpedoes indeed. Light up the blog screen.

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Hanukkah Day 5: Gratitudes. Light. Arrest Anniversary

In the category of clear Light and call to public witness, RantWoman is grateful to receive a link for this wonderful post about today being the anniversary of Rosa Parks' most famous bus ride.
http://www.tolerance.org/magazine/number-29-spring-2006/department/remembering-rosa-parks

RantWoman admits to a certain schandefreude and sense of rebbellion against current holiday BUYING imperatives. RantWoman remembers reading somewhere that starting the Montgomery bus boycott during the Christmas shopping season was one reason for its impact.

RantWoman is also grateful for the woman, whose name RantWoman apologizes for not recalling, who had gotten arrested a few days or weeks earlier also for refusing to yield her seat on a bus. RantWoman feels called to mention this woman's role as a pathbreaker, a goad to people to look for a more "respectable" figure to be the public face of the issue of segregation on public transit in Montgomery.

RantWoman is happy to take a break from cataloguing at least some of the more presentable seething in her head during and after Meeting for worship and to reflect on Hanukkah-themed messages in worship, including Please hold in the Light moments.

One Friend spoke of lighting candles locally, of inviting Friends over one night and having one of her visitors get his driver's side car window smashed.

RantWoman has a Friend who lives in "The South" who expresses reservations about who she invites over because of judaica in her house.

RantWoman has a former housemate who now observes Hanukkah in Hong Kong. Housemate who now lives in Hong Kong participated with RantWoman in many moments of outspoken presence in college. RantWoman and Housemate were in college at a time when self-righteous college students could always be on the side of angels by talking about South Africa.

One time RantWoman and Housemate and several others were making signs for a Divestment protest and someone mused aloud about what to write on a sign.

RantWoman: "How about "Divest Now, Pinheads"?

RantWoman proceeded to write "Divest Now" on the sign; Housemate was happy to take over and turn the sign into "Divest Now Pinheads." Guess which sign made the front page of the paper. Do angelic troublemakers really get to say "Divest Now Pinheads?"

The pinheads issue did not make it out of RantWoman's mouth during Meeting for worship.
More's the pity.

But someone's hope always to be on the side of angels did. Hold that point in the Light.

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Hanukkah Day 2 Worship Aids

Thanksgiving; RantMom
RantWoman apologizes. She remembers generalized gratitude during Thanksgiving Meeting for Worship; she does not remember gratitude as precisely wrought as some years. Or maybe RantWoman was also too busy being tender toward RantMom. RantMom is recovering from pneumonia. She is recovering slowly. Hold her in the Light.

RantWoman is grateful too so far to have resisted several rounds of temptation toward SERIOUS Bad Friend behavior during Meeting for Worship, and not just on Thanksgiving when RantMom could probably still elbow an ill-behaved RantWoman in the ribs if the occasion required it.

--RantWoman continues to have all sorts of issues with certain printed worship aids but so far RantWoman has managed to resist any thoughts of a braille marathon on the offending documents explaining her point of view. RantWoman is seasoning a rather different suggestion. Please hold in the Light RantWoman's seasoning of what to do with these thoughts.

--Remember that clip of Shout to the Lord sung to Led Zeppelin?
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2013/11/angry-birds-led-zeppelin-samson-delilah.html
SO FAR, RantWoman and probably other worshipers are grateful that urges to play the clip in Meeting for Worship have yielded to the prospect of utterly pathetic performance as squeaked out by one of RantWoman's new auditorily underpowered Android devices

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What does George Fox say video

Partly a blog as filing cabinet item so RantWoman has some chance of finding this again. Partly a confession: RantWoman would a WHOLE lot rather watch a video than read George Fox's journal, though the video does mke RantWoman think harder about sometime POSSIBLY reading his journal.

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Scientific American: how does meditation change the brain?

How does Meditation Change the Brain

http://www.scientificamerican.com/video.cfm?id=how-does-meditation-change-the-brai2013-10-30&WT.mc_id=SA_Facebook

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Spooky, HIPAA Meets the Prayer Chain

RantWoman celebrates the season of Halloween and all Saints day and Samhain and numerous topics muddling back and forth between conscious and subconscious.




RantWoman has been jumping up and down intermittently with questions and reflections about what is desirable as far as shared understanding of confidentiality for members of pastoral care committees, members of care committees, RantWoman KNOWS this topic is complex. ONE problem is that when RantWoman has tried to speak and hear what others understand, RantWoman keeps hearing in response only "shut up" and "we don't have time." RantWoman is unclear whether that is all that is being said but is VERY clear that is what she is hearing.

Please hold that problem in the Light and feel free to stop here.



RantWoman is WAY overachieving about questions and concerns and means to start here with some elementary medical confidentiality. RantWoman needs readers' prayers in advance.



First RantWoman HOPES to convey that it IS possible to share meaningful information with more than enough cover phrases HOPEFULLY to convey the meaningful part without compromising confidentiality. In particular, the issue from RantWoman's perspective is either facts already known from a patient's relative or information from a public Meeting for Worship. Rantwoman is TRYING to hear a concern but is hyperventilating from her own life experience.



Second, RantWoman is going to find it REALLY difficult to have a sensible conversation about the topic if there cannot FIRST be room for RantWoman to ask Friends prayers specifically over one soap operaesque story and one long ago but still intermittently throbbing awful story from one of RantWoman's particularly frequent flyer spells of eye care.



Let's start with RantWoman's vast frequent flyer experiences.

The soap opera item: RantWoman spent the prep period for one of her hospital eye experiences listening to her doctor and the nurse from the hospital gossip about an office romance at the doctor's office. The office romance led to an unintended pregnancy and a wedding; RantWoman never quite knows what to do with the thought of medical practitioners experiencing unplanned pregnancy but found herself grateful for an update a few months later when opportunity finally presented itself to ask her own doctor how the situation turned out. RantWoman really did NOT need to know of the soap opera, but as long as she did....





Now the throbbing, RantWoman has trouble talking rationally about the item she means to season event. Warning: medical trauma details.



Once upon a time RantWoman had to have surgery for a detached retina. There are various ways to treat a detached retina. RantWoman wound up needing the most invasive wrap a band around the eyeball, fill the eyeball with a gas bubble and then keep one's head face down for a couple weeks while the gas bubble pastes the retina back where it belongs. The procedure is invasive; swelling can happen for LOTS of reasons.



(RantWoman is also aware that swelling can happen over issues not paid attention to because of not being appropriately documented in a medical chart or not acted on if it was there. RantWoman mentions this point because the possibility that it is on point. RantWoman also mentions this point with reference to a paper medical chart approximately the thickness of War and Peace. For better or worse, in spite of one "not appropriately documented" probability, RantWoman remains with the same medical group. One reason is that even as the office struggles with electronic medical records, RantWoman's current doctor gets out the entire three volumes of "War and Peace" a couple times / year and reviews some historical information available only in the paper chart. But RantWoman is getting ahead of herself and muddling time frames again.)



At the time of RantWoman's surgery one of the staff at RantWoman's eye care practice was the daughter of someone in RantMom's church in MT, someone who more than once transported RantMom when she herself was planning a trip to Seattle. RantMom was on the church prayer chain. RantWoman assumes that the other mother was too. As soon as RantMom heard that RantWoman needed surgery, there was probably a call to the prayer chain. Also afoot, a trip to Seattle with the Motoring Mothers due in Seattle the day after RantWoman's surgery, exactly at the hour that RantWoman expected to be at her one-day followup appointment.



RantWoman TOLD RantMom that she fully expected to be at her appointment and that the motoring mothers should just go to the other daughter's workplace. RantWoman assured RantMom that the other mother SHOULD know how to get to her daughter's workplace; RantWoman assumes she had been there many times.



RantMom INSISTED on stopping by RantWoman's apartment. RantWoman of course was not there. Then there was some further communications fiasco with Little Sister. Then daughter staffperson came to see RantWoman mid-appointment wanting to know where our mothers were.



Mid appointment meant that RantWoman was in the middle of some consent process needed to stick a needle in RantWoman's eye to drain fluid and reduce pressure. And somehow daughter staffperson also needed to reassure RantWoman that she had told her mother nothing! Of course not! It was the prayer chain. It had not even occurred to RantWoman to worry about the daughter sharing info inappropriately--UNTIL the daughter staffperson was fretting about it while RantWoman was trying to cope with the consent form and the probably should not happen need to stick a needle in the eye issue!



Somehow cellphone calls elicited the info that RantMom and the other Motoring Mother were using a payphone and a fast food place RantWoman would never have taken either of them to. FINALLY RantMom absorbed the point that she should just come to RantWoman's eye care provider.



Lately, literature Brain keeps telling RantWoman there are elements of this story in common with what RantWoman has come to see is probably a BIG "hold in the Light" issue from a recent series of conversations. Probably, but RantWoman does not apologize: she is completely incapable of working with the other conversation because she keeps tripping over her own needle in the eye issues before she can even TRY to talk rationally.



The other story: a while ago for a couple weeks a death / obituary / memorial announcement about a new attender's spouse ran in the weekly Bulletin at RantWoman's meeting. The announcement also evoked appreciative ministry in our second Meeting for worship from a medical provider who spoke in worship of getting to know the deceased over time. Ministering medical provider would not, from Meeting life, know the spouse but RantWoman does.



RantWoman has learned from the spouse the circumstances of the deceased passing. They involve the medical specialty and organization where the ministering medical provider works. IF RANTWOMAN HAD TO GUESS, RantWoman assumes that ministering medical provider knows the deceased through work though of course RantWoman would never ever expect the ministering medical provider to say as much.



RantWoman attended a memorial and met one of the deceased's children who also happens to be a medical provider. RantWoman was given the words to say: IF RantWoman had to guess.... expressed great admiration. The other medical provider thanked RantWoman for her words.

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One at a Time PLEASE

Dear Parents,

RantWoman LOVES your children, really she does. RantWoman loves having a community that includes kids, parents, crusty curmudgeons, and people with all kinds of life experiences that might not be obvious just sitting in Meeting for Worship.

RantWoman is Auntie, not a parent. RantWoman REALLY digs being Auntie, for one thing because she gets to Give the Kid Back. RantWoman considers it her holy duty to cheerlead parents doing the fulltime job. In other words, RantWoman means well! And sometimes RantWoman's good intentions work; sometimes they do not.

RantWoman also considers it the community's job to cheerlead parents and to nurture our children's growth and development. RantWoman sees no reason growth and development are incompatible with that glorious time at the end of worship when children come, meeting shortly closes, and thenthere are ANNOUNCEMENTS, love 'em or hate  'em. RantWoman personally really appreciates announcements--when she can hear them.

RantWoman has been trying to have a community conversation about the principle that one person talks at a time during announcements. RantWoman's Meeting includes a whole bunch of people who hear badly. The worship room is covered with sound muffling carpet all over the walls. RantWoman's Meeting is not any more blessed with people who find it easy to SPEAK UP than anywhere else. And RantWoman thinks there are lots and lots of people who will appreciate it if children and adults can learn to talk ONE AT A TIME. This does not have to be perfect and there is plenty of time for people to grow into this, but RantWoman has become clearer and clearer that this is reasonable.

The first time need to speak to this issue came to RantWoman there were MANY new families with LOTS of children in worship and RantWoman was more than willing to make allowance for "new" and very young children. Meeting for Worship featured the next in a series of "hold it in the Light" messages about a youth struggling with more teenage challenges than average. RantWoman does not remember what all came up during announcements except for an announcement of a death of another challenged youngish person who few people in the room knew. Announcements ran long and the many children were exuberant, vocal and understandably not on topic.

RantWoman found her stomach churning and had to sit with a whole bunch of personal issues before being clear to go home and do a customary RantWoman email. When RantWoman brought up her concern and the suggestion about talking one at a time, she received return email suggesting she just go worship somewhere else where there are no children. Fortunately for the future of quakerdom, there are no such options within RantWoman's one bus on First Days travel constraints. RantWoman has not heard back about any other ideas but RantWoman is PRETTY sure kids AND grownups can work this out.

If you would like to hold this topic in the Light, focus on growth in shared worship, and stop here, please feel free.




If you are game for another ride at the RantWoman spiritual amusement park, thank you and read on.
Warning: it's a spiritual amusement park. RantWoman reminds readers of her past as a Russian literature major and throbbing literature brain symbolism habits. Think parallelism between different scenes with common elements. Think long complex novels whose authors got paid by the cuarto. Think long complex novels where the characters are all referred to by multiple names. RantWoman has also dabbled in Latin American magical realism; one feature of that genre is that timelines are sometimes, to say the least not linear.

In other words, RantWoman pointedly does not guarantee easily digested nibbles. In fact, if people insist that God show up only in easily digested nibbles, Worse Auntie is likely to show up and foam at the mouth about who the heck are any of us to argue with God and why does anyone feel entitled to God as personal Butler, God perfectly sculpted in dainty easily digestible bites? Nor unfortunately can RantWoman guarantee there is anything to be fixed though Holding in the Light nearly always improves the experience.

RantWoman recently had a conversation with a Weighty Friend about a Famous Founding member of our Meeting. Famous Founding Member expected his children who came to Meeting to sit through worship from day one. Famous Founding Member claimed that this practice is why all of those children remained Quakers as adults. RantWoman notes this without further comment.

RantWoman is an oldest child. Especially with a young RantWoman, the RantParents did not necessarily have a great grasp on the concept of "age appropriate. RantWoman learned early that Mommy was a better person all week if she had a good experience at church, and RantWoman learned that the church service was usually a whole lot more interesting that whatever childcare options were available. RantDad as choir director usually could keep an eye on the Rant children from the front of the church 

RantWoman was also on the learn to sit still side of the sit still or get spanked when we get home norm of parental behavior expectations. RantWoman is not sure she is grateful to Little Sister for reminding her recently of this divide, but it does partly explain some of RantWoman's twitches around uncorralled children in worship: a stew of "someone is going to get spanked," "where ARE their parents?" "How come they get to run around and I don't?"

RantWoman reminds herself that she is a Quaker not a Presbyterian anymore and children are SUPPOSED to be allowed to breathe. Than RantDad shows up with his bad vision and unacknowledged frustration shrieking at young children who do the bobble around thing all young children do. RantWoman remembers being terrified about RantDad yelling; now unfortunately RantWoman can relate to the frustration but she considers it her holy duty to TRY to keep a handle on the shrieking.

Next come RantWoman's bus nerves. RantWoman has written extensively of the vast realms of rich spiritual experience and spiritual challenge available aboard the average public transportation system. Today's topic is children, small people who need to stay connected to the big people they get on the bus with while everyone quickly and safely gets stowed, small people who sometimes speak better English than the big people they get on the bus with, all kinds of situations where it helps if everyone pays attention to safety and courtesy.

But RantWoman, someone will say, it's Meeting for Worship, not the bus. Um, RantWoman's bus nerves have a single standard of Truth. They cannot tell the difference between the bus and Meeting for Worship. Sometimes on the bus that is a GOOD thing.

But RantWoman that's YOUR mental health issue. Can't you just go talk to your counselor (times 2 with a theme and variations motif)?


WARNING: TRIGGER ALERT for additional trauma!
Very Funny. RantWoman has a new mental health provider. About the second time RantWoman had an appointment with new mental health provider, there was ...ta-da...massive disruption in bus service all over the city for several hours because one of the humble public servants who drives buses got shot in the face by, please excuse RantWoman speaking plainly and HOLD THE GUY IN THE LIGHT --posthumously because of police action, an idiot with a gun who could not pay his bus fare.

RantWoman of course was affected by the massive schedule disruptions but had no idea initially what bus route was affected.

RantWoman managed an alternative routing that at least got RantWoman to her appointment but got her there very late. Not late enough to cancel, but late enough to exchange info: new mental health professional rides the route affected by the shooting all the time. RantWoman rides that route sometimes too. And when RantWoman's bus nerves want to flare into hypervigilance mode, RantWoman needs only to think about shooter on a bus at rush hour on a bus with lots of family destinations on the route.

Maybe other people can bear with RantWoman and her multiple time sequences and all the joy and tragedy and scarieness and love sitting in worship and can join RantWoman in holding THE BUS in the Light too.

And maybe we all get to count our blessings that Meeting for Worship usually is not as scary as the bus.

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Hah! Found them, or some of them

RantWoman has meant to collect some blog items in some way or another about children in worship. RantWoman meant to pen meditations on the topic and has been called to go a different direction. However, RantWoman does not want to lose track of the links.


A new thing
http://transitionquaker.blogspot.com/2013/09/see-i-am-doing-new-thing.html
A community that does not exist
http://gatheringinlight.com/2013/09/04/a-community-that-does-not-yet-exist-luke-14/


Rituals and Children

http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/ritual-outline-for-meeting-for-worship.html


Mindful Parenting
http://www.communityofmindfulparents.com/practicing-meditation-changes-you/

Gil George Resisting Security
http://extrovertedquaker.wordpress.com/2013/08/27/resisting-security/


Suzanne Kromberg Quakers and Emotions: reflections on climbing high
http://quakersusanne.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/quakers-and-emotions-reflections-on-climbing-high/
Interesting reflections; interesting queries

Kathleen Carmack Williams in Friends Journal
http://www.friendsjournal.org/bringing-children-to-worship/

Wonderful Meeting is a muscle guest post from SF MM on Gathering in Light
http://gatheringinlight.com/2013/09/03/meeting-is-a-muscle-teaching-worship-to-children/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+GatheringInLight+%28gathering+in+light%29

Wes Daniels about Listening.
http://gatheringinlight.com/2013/08/14/listening-as-an-act-of-faith-hebrews-11/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+GatheringInLight+%28gathering+in+light%29

Wes Daniels about Children in Worship with a link to the Friends Journal article
http://gatheringinlight.com/2013/08/19/thoughts-on-bringing-children-to-worship/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+GatheringInLight+%28gathering+in+light%29

Chris Mohr
http://chrismsf.blogspot.com/2013/08/approaches-to-having-children-in-quaker.html

Nancy Thomas about dysfunctional families in the Bible
http://nancyjthomas.blogspot.com/2013/08/dysfunctional-families-in-mission.html


And Robin Mohr about hopes for First Day School
http://robinmsf.blogspot.com/2013/08/my-hopes-for-first-day-school.html

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Waiting, not Silence, Waiting, and hope and ...

RantWoman collected this item off QuakerQuaker way back in August when RantWoman also collected some other blog links about children and worship. RantWoman cannot find the other links in her Drafts folder but there are enough layers here for part of what is on RantWoman's mind.


Today, August 30, 2013

Posted by Joan Gunn Broadfield on 8th mo. 31, 2013 at 8:47am in Quaker Talk

Many things swirling in my consciousness:

■punishment

■silent

■waiting

■disarm



Punishment:

Why have we not given this up years ago as Friends? We could join the Mennonites as beacons in the world of restorative justice. Today, as our President contemplates how to answer the unfathomable chemical weapons unleashed, he keeps using this concept. Payback time. That is what it amounts to. Friends, at the time of 9/11/01, were saying Justice Not revenge. Where did our efforts go in the last 12 years? Have we taken this to our hearts and do we live it in our lives? I know I have been trying, and I know it is not easy.


Silent - and Waiting:

Having read Wess Daniels sweet piece about children and worship, I saw again the way we describe our quite still worship as 'silent'. We all do this. But describe our aspiration? The word silent becomes its own goal, disconnected from spirit. Do we fear people we do not know speaking? Are we hoping for children who will 'behave'? What can we do to change our descriptor so that it says more what we yearn for?



From Wess's blog, I think he and I want the same thing: a place where we are entering the connection to the divine.. we are waiting.



Perhaps we can begin here to substitute waiting for silent when we talk about our worship. Some one or group began to do this a while back... If we all pick it up, Over time it will change. George Fox does not use 'silent' when he speaks of worship in his journal. It was a word he used to stop people from speaking, and a word he describes people's responses to what he has said or what is happening.

SILENT is a place of nothingness. But the divine is not nothing.

WAITING shows an action. We are waiting for divine connection.

Disarm:

As I sit here today in prayer, with the conviction that military action in Syria will do nothing good, I yearn for the president to consider a disarming act. I pray that the focus will be on the people of Syria, not on punishing a nation for a horrific act. I have heard from those who have suffered abuse from parents that when well-meaning grownups in the store have chided parents they see mistreating their children that the children get more abuse when they get home. Whether or not we have gotten it right about the gas, there are ways our military responses have shaped the middle east in particular ways. What might the U.S. begin to do that would be disarming?

I am praying... and emailing from FCNL site my prayers to our President.

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Worship and surfing and not falling asleep

Blog o the morning:


Quakers and Surfing:

http://alicekatrina.blogspot.co.uk/2013/10/quakers-and-surfing.html


The blogger's first visit to Quaker worship.

RantWoman sees several interesting-looking blogs in the blog roll too, but RantWoman has a world to save today and will have to come back to the bloggery.

RantWoman also is curious about someone already having a blog about Quakers before ever going to worship,

RantWoman is a geographical philistine and had no idea that surfing would be an applicable concept anywhere in the British Isles though it does seem obvious that if surfing were to occur, Cornwall would be a good place to look.


By way of scientific distraction and elaboration on themes:
http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=mental-downtime&WT.mc_id=SA_Facebook


And while RantWoman is at it, an opinion piece from anthropologist Tanya Luhrman:
"God is a relationship not an explanation"
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/14/opinion/sunday/luhrmann-when-god-is-your-therapist.html?smid=fb-share&_r=0

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Awash. Living Water

RantWoman has been awash in the Living Water.


Living Water round 1: OR Coast, Newport OR. A timeshare right on the water.

Part A: RAIN SQUALLS. Exuberant racket from seagulls sea lions, seals slurping up waste from a nearby fish processing plant. Memorial benches along the boardwalk commemorating sailors lost at sea. Some years there were people listed from multiple vessels. Probably stormy years.

Part B. Deepoe Bay. Waves crashing against walls of waterworn igneous formations, leaving tidal pools behind as the waves return to the sea. A view of Boiler Bay. Not called that because the water looks like it's in a boiler, though it does. Boiler Bay because a ship called the Boiler sank there.

Part C: No Tsunami Option vacation with #disasterprep included:

http://rantwoman.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-no-tsunami-option.html
RantWoman tried to walk up the tsunami evacuation hill. It would be a tough haul for RantWoman, never mind about RantMom. Go walk the boardwalk and listen to sea lions barking. They are loud and smelly and close, an improvement over an excursion possibility: cold and dark and smelly after an overpriced elevator trip down to some sea lion caves. Anyway, bank on the "no tsunami" option.

What means "we seek an earth restored" here?

Living Water, Round 2: 500-year floods down mountain valleys in CO. 22" of rain in a day or two; more water than usually falls for a whole year. Lots of roads along mountain valleys just GONE. RantWoman is peculiarly fascinated when Acts of God make human efforts crumble. The good news is RantBrother kadeit through a couple days of work doing flood cleanup before his body rebelled. Now he is back to looking after his own fashion for other work. The rest of family are poking at psychic cleanup options after his last visit.

Living Water: Quarterly Meeting.
Call down the fire of your justice; Call down the rain of your love. Ummm, wildfires burning miles to the south at the beginning of the month are by now a non-event. We still need rain, even in Friday traffic out of town or over the pass.

Plenary Bible Passage about a Samaritan woman and a Jew sharing water at the well. A big deal that they are drinking together even though the woman misses out on the Living Water because she does not know who Jesus is. Interesting approach to brand appreciation.
Plenary Promo: Friendly Water
http://www.friendlywaterfortheworld.com/
If RantWoman were going to go all intercultural on the #disasterprep efforts, she MIGHT want something like this in her home disaster resources.

Worship Sharing queries include no floods or tears; messages came about both, with riffs on brothers / parenting / loss / living / growing / mourning / hoping.

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Hallowed Time. The Bus COUNTS

Reflections on hallowed time, prayer, worship, the bus.


RantWoman's mind is in a time warp. RantWoman's body is reluctantly back from vacation and Quarterly Meeting. RantWoman's brain most assuredly is still dawdling. Here: MODEST efforts to corral RantWoman's reflections on recent reading.

About making every moment holy and not apologizing when psychic "junk food" turns out more nourishing than one initially assumes.
http://quakerpagan.blogspot.com/2013/09/whats-twenty-minutes.html

About spending 10,000 hours to get good at something and in passing about Saturday plenary at NPYM annual session.
http://generousgrasp.wordpress.com/2013/09/22/ten-thousand-hours/#more-503



Digression alert? Prayer experiments
http://worshipsharinginprint.wordpress.com/2013/09/28/prayer-experiments/



Does the bus count? At the moment, all roads, courses of Living Water, nearly hidden tracks in the woods, ALL Routes lead to the Bus!

http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2010/04/time-to-pray.html

http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2010/08/bus-eldering-123.html


Really? How about hold RantWoman and all those in the path of her emanations in the Light?

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Thunderless Braille

Perhaps God(dess) was looking out for RantWoman last First Day during Meeting for Worship.


RantWoman dutifully picked up the weekly bulletin and another paper at the entrance to the Worship Room. RantWoman and others receive the weekly bulletin by email. For RantWoman who finds reading regular print torturous, this is an accessibility measure. For various reasons RantWoman still reflexively collects paper. RantWoman was peeved to realize she seems to have picked up an emanation from Worship and Ministry which she is not sure she has received by email and has no easy search string to check.

RantWoman immediately thought of the item from Friends Journal about children--and much older children--sometimes having trouble in Meeting for worship.

http://www.friendsjournal.org/bringing-children-to-worship/

RantWoman was all set to have a fit in braille all over the offending document to calm her nerves and help her settle into something like the centered presence needed worshipfully to help interrupt the March to War of the Week.

In particular, Worse Auntie has been seasoning all sorts of contributions to the bedlam that is end of worship announcements right now.

--Follow the Bouncing Balls, all ages. Why should the little kids have all the fun with large stuffed animals? Let's get the great big, much older kids involved. Enough said?

--RantWoman has been considering whether to accept a promotion from Wing Commander, 907th Psalm, Airborne Paper Ministry Squadron to Supreme Commander of the same noble ministry. Initially RantWoman did not realize that the Airborne Paper Ministry Squadron has two formations, the Peace Crane formation and the Weekly Bulletin repurposed Avaition Team. So far, praise god the most merciful, beneficent...., neither formation has flown in for Meeting for Worship. So far.

To have a fit all over anything, RantWoman needs her braille slate. Look, RantWoman IS flamboyant, but does ANYONE really think RantWoman is just goind to write in fat pen big enough for any old snoop to read over her shoulder? RantWoman NEEDED her braille slate but RantWoman could not FIND her Braille slate.

RantWoman looked high. RantWoman looked low. RantWoman looked in her purse. RantWoman looked in the RantWoman bag of the day. RantWoman spent ALMOST enough time fiddling with her various pockets and fasteners to be thoroughly embarrassed. Almost. There were no Velcro noises. Finally RantWoman stopped and settled appropriately.

Worship as befits Friends Meeting while the nation and the world are trying to find routes past US militarism in Syria featured several messages on the theme of alternatives to violence. The children entered. RantWoman, all Meeting, had been seasoning a message on a different War and Peace theme but God gave the end of Meeting culminating colliding messages to others. RantWoman shook hands. RantWoman was called, surprisingly, to speak during announcements.

Then RantWoman moved her foot and saw a flash of yellow. RantWoman's braille slate had fallen out of RantWoman's purse! Thanks you God, RantWoman GUESSES, for both losing and finding.

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Condolences; Thunderous Braille

Worse Auntie offers condolences of the sort needed a few months after death when the grieving are sometimes assumed to have returned to normal. These condolences occured in the context of Worse Auntie doing something, getting eldered, and offering one of her trademark "You're darn right and here's my side." responses. One of these millenia RantWoman / Worse Auntie MAY yet evolve into a more consistently presentable human being. Or the worship angel woven into our community's worship experiences MIGHT become more precisely verbal and less persistently vexed by throbbing non-verbal resonances.



Dear Friend seated near RantWoman during the same Meeting for Worship after which RantWoman was called to elder....
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2013/06/ministry-not-ministry.html


Thank you for bearing with thunderously loud braille Sunday in Meeting for Worship. I think I am supposed to be contrite; I am not and I do not even apologize but I do promise to TRY to keep some kind of grip on the behavior. As I said,

1. I got a new stylus that I really like. It works! So it is loud. Sigh.

2. I WAS scrawling tasteless comments wildly inappropriate in their raw form but which did in fact make it through RantWoman's spiritual taffy pull to a blog post.,
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2013/07/free-nelson-mandela-free-nelson-mandela.html

3. The theme of suicide turned out in undercurrents to touch even more people than RantWoman had initially noted. That theme needs continual holding in the Light.

4. Considering all the people around with hearing loss, Worse Auntie SEASONING a desire to tell anyone who complains that they should be glad they have enough hearing to be bothered--AND glad if that's the worst problem of their day. But you were sitting right next to me and RantWOman thinks it's good that neither of us so far has yet clobbered our hearing, for instance with loud music.

But seriously, It took me all meeting to get most of the way to a message about how we never stop loving someone even long after they died. I don't know how things are going for you about (your recent loss) but if that death is weighing too heavily, please feel free to stop.

Now the simple possibly more than you want to know request: my condolences on your loss. Please hold me in the Light about losses in the same month: RantDad, a friend who died in a comical fizzle of nearby fireworks, and another friend, all different years, someone killed in an awful bicycle vs dump truck death from 4 years ago, the mother of someone who suddenly spoke very differently about her after her death than while she was alive...

And when I Am Not Interested in Your Thought Processes Friend opens his mouth, I sometimes find myself less confident that God is speaking than that Friend himself is; I was definitely having that problem in principle about his ministry; I am aware that might be MY problem. Sigh.

And how does thunderously loud braille help? I am right handed. I slate left-handed. I still have to think about contractions and freaky braille contraction orthography rules. AND expending all that physical and psychic energy is ONE way to keep a handle on all the definitely not appropriate for Meeting for Worship language sloshing around in my head. If being in Meeting for Worship really helps but I cannot be there without... sometimes I just need to do that.

Anyway, if you have made it this far, thank you for reading and consider yourself still held in the Light about your recent loss.

(RantWoman)

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When to Speak Flow Chart

RantWoman stores by way of blog as filing cabinet. To RantWoman's blind readers, this is a flow chart with a series of Yes/No questions intended as one path for deciding when to speak. The text in the GIF is reasonably clear so if your screen reader does OCR you may be fine. RantWoman promises a blog post testing this questions along with some other questions in regard to actual messages which have come to RantWOman during Meeting for Worship and RantWoman's verdict about whether the message gets spoken aloud, addressed to individuals in various contexts, or further seasoned. Bear in mind the RantWoman spiritual amusement park.

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Spirit Sucked Out? Straggling: still not entirely back from Annual Session

Okay RantWoman admits it: she is procrastinating and would rather be somewhere else than her current daily diet of only occasionally diverting dramas.

RantWoman is still trying to get her brain home from Annual Session, also known as Quaker summer camp. RantWoman admits, part of this mental straggling has to do with NPYM being a geographically large but very unevenly populated Yearly Meeting. Being together in person really means a lot for many Friends even if this means long distance travel or organizing ourselves to communicate a lot of the time in new media.

Remember how RantWoman wrote ad copy about "it's Quakers go to camp, Business Meeting every day?" RantWoman had a great time regardless. Here RantWoman pokes at dances of the Holy Spirit as more or less corralled into plenary business sessions and other kinds of intentional and unintentional activities.


Opening Musings:
Weighty Friend who teaches Clerking sometimes points out that one can be dealing with both issues of process and issues of content or agenda. For me the entire issue of doing business at Annual Session falls into that category. I would like to outline some observations and see where they lead.

The structure committee originally intended to facilitate both doingbusiness at Annual Session and spreading out the work of the community across more committees. I think both ARE occurring; some comments about the second before tackling the question of Business at Annual Session.

There were a couple diverse committees including many different names and Meetings created last year; from the sounds of their reports some of them did a lot of spirit-led work. A couple other committees needed to come to plenary even if all they found out is their work needs more seasoning.

It was wonderful last year to hear the number of different names of Friends led to work on the structure evaluation and the question of relationships with Friends from other groups of yearly meetings.

I have enjoyed hearing bits and pieces of the work done by the Committee on the Discipline including all the consultations the committee did at annual session this year with Friends of different ages.

I like that the Youth Committee was clear to act on pretty tight timeline and to bring forward a proposal to hire a children's program coordinator. I think exactly what gets assigned to that position needs some adjustment and I would like to have better understood some numbers points about who participates in Annual Session and the impact of adding a fourth day, but I like being able to make decisions even if uncertainty is involved! I like that there is a full slate of Friends led to work on Outreach and Visitation.

I am not necessarily distressed that a standing Peace and Social Concerns committee has not coalesced. Friends are active in so many different ways that creating a standing committee might draw energy away from all the other ways Friends are engaged. On the other hand, between the geographic coverage of the coal trains issue and the fact that Sen. Murray D WA is the chair of the Senate Budget committee, I am going to continue to season some thoughts related to FCWPP and FCNL andNPYM.

I have been VERY impressed with the work done by M&O over the past several years. Meaning no disrespect to the people newly nominated to M&O, I have a continuing concern that M&O really needs the gifts and Light of Friends from Meetings in communities of different sizes and I hope that Nominating Committee and M&O will discern about ways to work with that concern.

[Comment added as this goes to blog: RantWoman means to foward to Nominating Committee and Young Adult Friends a list of about 5 standing committees where RantWoman would be thrilled to see added the name of 1 or more Young Adult Friends.]

[Further reflections due at some point on RantWoman's experience arriving at her Meeting at YAF age but never with any strong leading or draw to connect to Young Adult Friends.]

Turning now to Annual Session, different topics might require different strategies as far as shared seasoning. Friends need to attend to a sense somehow among at least a substantial number of Friends that structure is threatening to squeeze out Spirit. What do we need to do to preserve a greater sense of Spirit moving among us?

Such Light as has arrived to RantWoman, subject of course to all manner of RantWoman-derived distortions:


Agenda items are currently presented in plenary with framing one day and action after a couple days and opportunity between for God to work and for Friends to season and talk amongst ourselves before things come back to Business Meeting.

I rode back from Annual Session in a car with two other Friends and we ALL talked about how we are only now starting to get the hang of the presentation, season, discern in plenary cycle and by extension how we hope work occurs between Annual Sessions.

One thing that I think would help Friends understand the logic of the scheduling at Annual Session is to remind Friends of this multiple times multiple ways, when stuff is emailed out, in plenaries, etc. One Friend in the car was not crazy about the term framing, but maybe something like "opening a container" would be an interesting option. The container is partly blocks of time, partly environment, plenary or otherwise, partly the contributions of Friends' seasoning. If one block of time container gets full, another is needed but if might be a different container as far as room, timeline....

A second thing I think would help is to be REALLY explicit about a time and place for people to meet outside plenary with the committee when further seasoning is needed.

--The have everyone mob the speakers' area thing that has gone on for two years is really hard for anyone with physical limitations. Having a specific time and place announced is inviting, not exclusive, maintains a sense of worshipful space not just friendly mob. The idea would be that more seasoning is frequently needed but not by a whole plenary.

--Or if a new adhoc committee is needed, having an open meeting space gives a way for people to gather in person and worship briefly even if they wind up working a lot by conference call over the next year.

A third thing to think about: A Friend from the Youth Committee mentioned that the Presiding Clerk did a conference call with the people needing to present in plenaries before Annual Session I think this in general is a good idea. Maybe I misheard as far as who participated in the call though: the people presenting already know their topics well and the question of how to present in plenaries MIGHT benefit from fresh ears. Maybe a set or two of fresh ears would just offer questions that the Clerk or those presenting could listen for. Maybe the fresh ears would suggest that some items might need more time in plenary than others. Who knows? The idea is just to have some fresh ears to think about and uphold during sessions.

This year, ironically, one agenda item where I clearly saw the seasoning between plenaries pay off was the Relations with other branches of Quakers committee, the one that got postponed because God needed to work on Saturday. I heard the co-clerk's frustration about having done a lot of work to fix concerns which arose during framing and being disappointed that they could not present on Saturday. I am sorry their co-clerks had to leave, but I think we were well-served even when the plenary attempted some word smithing. Also, RantWoman heard one Friend talk about the work of the committee over the year and how she felt it had been rewarding to stick things out and work through some rough spots as a committee.

Where would time for open committee meetings come from?
One option that comes to mind is to have one or more meeting rooms during interest group time. People might have to give up an interest group but see an additional idea.

Another option: during service project time even though that also is a conflict.

A third: get rid of a plenary.
--There is one day where there were 3 plenaries. Cut back to two and do open committee meetings, several at once during that the time that would have been the third plenary. That means people can only go to one. Oh well.

--Have a separate space or maybe use the main plenary room for open worship and people holding the work in the Light. OR do a mix of open committee and interest groups so that there are three time slots with interest group options. ALWAYS make an open worship option during Interest group times.

--Also consider some kind of intergenerational freeform craft activity where people can get together and DO and talk at the same time but also in a way that is a break from other busyness.

--Part of the thinking is explicitly to take advantage of Friends all being together and to do at least some Business in smaller groups than the whole plenary.


What would I subtract from the plenary agenda if we cut back by one?
--There should be at most 1 or two Quaker alphabet soup presentations at plenary. Everyone else gets interest group options or the Quaker fair. MAYBE spend some time thinking about ways to make the Quaker fair a little bit less of a mob scene.

--One interest group option: the Alphabet soup interest group with short presentations by several groups. Maybe ask people who present in plenary what their efforts yieleded this year and whether they are satisfied. Then use those thoughts in planning how presentatins are done next year.

--Another option, just repeat some of the interest groups and maybe create room for one or two more, especially if way were found for a third interest group time.

Another important discipline is just to focus on decisions that absolutely have to get made such as approving the budget.

Money

This year, I heard great lack of clarity about financial concerns including tradeoffs of different choices regarding length of Annual Session, whether Annual Session is covering its costs, financing Annual Session partly through assessments or expecting it to be self-supporting, how to ensure that different parts of our community are able to attend, spending from reserves and general budget balancing.

Some of the time I think it is reasonable for Finance and Legal to prepare one budget; sometimes I think it would be more helpful to present a couple alternatives with tradeoffs clearly spelled out in the first framing session and then expect people to have gotten clear about recommended choices in time to approve at a subsequent plenary.

For myself, I come from a large Meeting but I think a smaller percentage of our community regularly attends Annual Session than from other Meetings. This is a point I think about when thinking about large dues increases and how to finance Annual Session vs other choices of activity for the Yearly Meeting. I have no clear answers but I do think about it and I am grateful for time to season big changes with my Meeting in time to offer meaningful input over a series of years at Annual Session.

Thank you all for your work.

In the Light

(RantWoman)
Link to apage full of documents, including epistles from other Yearly Meetings.
http://www.npym.org/as/index.html

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Exercise, Families, Saturday Plenary, MONEY

RantWoman DOES have an I voice. If readers are lucky, RantWoman will preserve her I voice out of an edited email. This item summarizes some circumstances feeding into the famous Saturday plenary at NPYM Annual Session where God needed to rearrange the agenda as well as some points RantWoman heard or did not hear spoken out of worship.


RantWoman notes that God still seems to be organizing several points related to how NPYM conducts Annual Session in addition to the content questions connected with the items being discussed. In other words, RantWoman means to post a couple other pieces of the picture separately and pointedly encourages readers to hold all the pieces when trying to understand why Friends needed just to work with God.

At an earlier plenary the Annual Session had approved creating a 1/4 time paid position to coordinate the entire Annual Session children's program, carry out the requirements of the Youth safety policy, and find people to staff programs for all age groups at Annual Session. This proposal emerged from an ad hoc committee in late spring and was circulated among Monthly Meetings and Worship groups before Annual Session. The proposal included straightforward job descriptions and suggestions about how to fund the work but did not address some points which RantWoman speaks to below..
RantWoman's Meeting heard an announcement about it almost in passing at the very end of June Meeting for Business and the actual proposal was distributed electronically the next week with the weekly bulletin. RantWoman read the proposal including a proposal to fund the first year of the position out of reserves and a request later for about a 17% increase per capita in Yearly Meeting dues assessments and a proposal in subsequent years to add an outreach component.
RantWoman sent the clerk of the ad hoc committee some questions:

--Should the outreach component begin immediately if only so that the person doing the work can identify counts of children and of adults who might be recruited to support the work to be done?

--Should there be targeted fundraising so that assessments do not have to be increased so much, particularly for Friends who never attend Annual Session?

--Does the proposal need to take into account other issues such as the Great Recession, our Yearly Meeting's practice of changing venues every two years to reflect our geographic size, addition a few years ago of an additional day?

--How does this proposal relate to several questions about attenders, identity as members of a Friends' community, membership coincidentally being thought about as the Committee on the Discipline works to describe current practice and to revise our Faith and Practice.

RantWoman did not expect a reply to her questions any sooner than Annual Session; RantWoman did not hear her question about numbers addressed at all one way or another in the plenary discussions of the paid children's program arranger position.

RantWoman remembers speaking to support the general thought of investng in youth programs. RantWoman also remembers urging Friends to go forward in faith about money even though for her some money parts of the proposal did not compute; at the time RantWoman was assured that discussion of the Ad Hoc Committee on affordability for families committee work would address RantWoman's concerns. This turned out not really to be feasible.

The Ad-hoc committee on Family Affordability was the focus of the agenda for the Saturday plenary when God and several young Friends rose to speak. There had been various questions about how the committee proposed to work to better understand the issue, what it was trying to accomplish and other ways to understand priorities. Process, content, how to listen to movements of the Divine were all muddled in Friends' questions about the proposal and ministry on the topic.

This was the point where a Weighty Friend spoke to a sense of unease in the room and a whole sequence of Friends spoke before a suggestion was made simply to go into worship and allow Friends to speak out of worship for the remainder of the time for that plenary. RantWoman spoke of her sense that the question before the group was how best to use our resources to draw our community closer to God and to each other.

(RantWoman also led a worship group. Email among Worship Group leaders after Annual Session indicates that several of the Saturday Worship Groups, though not RantWoman's were led to speak of the plenary within their worship groups.)

Here is RantWoman's email after Annual Session, in the spirit of Minutes of Exercise edited only minimally, and offered with RantWoman's name attached even though she is NOT the Recording Clerk: This is such Light as has come to RantWoman and RantWoman is specifically NOT speaking on behalf of the whole group.


This message is topical to the paid children's program discussion and to the Family Affordability committee. Friends are welcome to ask for clarifications or to forward. I do not want to make a blanket offer, but would also be willing to discern whether I have additional increments of time to devote to this work.Other than that, I am happy just to feed my thoughts into others' work and not necessarily expect responses right away.

As a process point, I am aware that I may be suggesting things other than decisions made in plenaries and I would remind Friends that Coordinating Committee (the representative body which meets a couple times / year between Annual Sessions) might be a place to consider adjustments to charge, scope of work, objectives for the newly approved position of children's program arranger.

Here I want to outline some stuff I heard, some stuff I did not hear, questions on my mind, and see how my thinking feeds into next increments of work.


To Friend Clerk of the Ad hoc committee on children's program coordination:

I did not hear ANYTHING in my report about your committee's request for numbers. I was hoping someone else would have the same thought in plenary; they did not so I am raising it here. I asked for data about numbers of people of different ages at Annual Session different years, different locations with a couple other before and after points in my ask.

To me a bunch of people looking at numbers CAN be really valuable and that is the kind of thing I wish Friends could wade into when an issue is framed. My request may or may not have been easily doable in the time between when I made it and annual session, but it's something to think about. In fact, in the car on the way home, I jotted down some other thoughts about making an analysis dataset from historical registration data. MAYBE I will elaborate especially if anyone else is interested in this idea.

I DID NOT hear ANY mention in either the Annual Session affordability or the Paid childcare arranger discussion of the survey done at the beginning of 2012 about families and Annual Session. The survey was HOPEFULLY going to collect input from people who do not attend annual session. Since the survey was done, even the fact of there being only a few respondents might be important in thinking about next steps. I heard LOTS of people talk in plenaries and otherwise about the value of Annual Session.

I heard some amorphous thoughts about care of Quarterly meetings as an idea not attached to particular actions. On the way home a Young Adult Friend mentioned Young Adults' interest in travelling among different Quarterly Gatherings. I wonder what opportunities there are for synergy with Outreach and Visitation, information sharing....

I heard and share a concern about sucking out Spirit either with too much business or in how we do business. I will send some thoughtsabout my Quakers go to Camp / Business Meeting EVERY DAY theme and will write separate emails about these thoughts.
I heard complete lack of clarity about a whole bunch of questions to do with assessments, various charges for Annual session. I think complete lack of clarity is actually a helpful place to start. I would find it valuable for the family affordability committee at next year's Annual Session to present a few different scenarios addressing both the length of Annual Session and apportionment of costs between assessments and things charged to those who attend Annual Session and even some different per person breakouts. For instance, I think it might be fine to ask all annual session adults to help subsidize children / families.

I heard voices of Monthly Meetings saying "ask us what we need, don't just ask us to keep seasoning stuff." (This is a reference to our evolving standing committees, all of whom seem to be sending out queries asking Monthly Meetings and Worship groups to season various questions.) I do not know whether there is a disconnect about the ask here but the "ask us what we need" is important.

I heard mention of lots of interest from Monthly Meetings in educational curricula and help with children's programs. I am not sure where that comes from but I have heard it before and for instance the paid children's program coordinator job description as written does not address that concern right away. Would anyone besides me find value in reconsidering elements of the job description?


Friend, Clerk of the Ad Hoc Committee, you talk about wishing more of your Meeting would come to Annual Session.

--Why do you think they don't? Are they not interested? Does no one do anything to promote? Is it only cost or are there other barriers?

--What if anything would a paid children's program arranger position contribute to getting more people specifically from your Meeting to attend Annual Session? Do Friends feel any call to think about this question with respect to other Meetings?

--Here is a blog post with my take on some possible barriers:
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2013/07/annual-session-ad-copy-too-late-and-too.html

--I always have a reflex to try to spell out some "how do we know it works" criteria. I know God showing up is--and SHOULD BE--hard to measure, but things like numbers, repeat attenders, finances that balance might suggest some basics.

I hope these comments are helpful. I would be interested to hear Friends responses if led but I am also happy just feeding thoughts into the work.

Thank you all for your work.

In the Light.

(RantWoman)

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Memorials, evaluating

1. RIP Manila envelope.

By the end of Annual Session this year, RantWoman's manila registration envelope was full of important things like:

--the Annual Session program

--extra query sheets and the worship sharing guidelines for her worship walking group

--a half-completed evaluation form

--copies of the Daily Bulletin under new editorship

--a stack of new FCNL bumper stickers. RantWoman occasionally meets people with bumpers to put bumper stickers on. More importantly RantWoman goes about taking notes in different meetings on different legal pads. FCNL bumperstickers are among the things RantWoman in "Let our lives speak" mode likes to paste on the back of tablets. Note to self: probably there are lots of ways to get more bumperstickers.


2. RIP Evaluation?
Alas, RantWoman's manila envelope somehow did not make it back to Seattle with her. RantWoman is not afraid to attach her identity to most of her opinions. RantWoman also tends to have more to say than fits in the spaces on evaluation forms but there is no electronic option available. So in the interest of the "how do you do that" thread of Quaker gatherings, RantWoman feels called to share more evaluation elements here.


3. "Let the dead bury their dead?"
Today's topic: Meeting for Worship for Memorials.

This year Meeting for Worship for Memorials bumped against the plenary where God needed to rearrange the agenda. RantWoman PROMISES to say more of what came to her from that but today she needs to start slowly. The main point for now: Meeting for Memorials was shorter than average anyway.

This year instead of reading the full memorial minutes, the Meeting for Worship for Memorial opened with someone reading the list of names, which for various reasons including a very recent death of someone who was not a member wound up not being complete. RantWoman is glad to have heard names added. RantWoman was glad to have a sense of time and space for Friends to offer more individual ministry in remembrance. RantWoman  (urk!) came in late and was grateful someone reread the list of names again towards the end of the time.

And...

RantWoman misses the "let our lives speak" aspects of reading Friends' full memorial minutes. RantWoman often LIKES the things she learns about people's lives, even people she does not know. Posting memorial minutes in tiny print on a wall in a noisy plenary room is not a substitute. RantWoman definitely assumes she is not the only one put off by tiny print on a wall or who just needs to hear something out loud and held by the whole group.

Also, RantWoman thinks offering at least something from each Friend's memorial minute would create a fuller sense of these Friends being present to those who attend. RantWoman wonders whether it MIGHT be possible to read a paragraph or two from each minute at the Meeting for Worship for Memorial.


4. RantWoman is seasoning a list of tweaks to suggest about various aspects of the Annual Session program. One that comes to mind is just to have a space somewhere during every time slot for open worship. RantWoman MIGHT think to put notebooks full of memorial minutes, epistles, and state of society reports in this room on a table so that people might have an opportunity to sit, read, hold worshipfully.

There.

Thank you for reading.

In the Light.

RantWoman

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Ministry? Not Ministry?

WARNING: This post contains references to someone coming upon the scene of a suicide, a parental anxiety theme, and RantWoman's usual subtle, sensitive, and nuanced treatment of many topics. RantWoman is grateful for a sense of God unquestionably showing up as well. This is from Meeting for Worship a few weeks ago. How many times might one say something here is / is not ministry at the same time?

Dear [Never mind who]

RantWoman was speaking recently of sparkling clarity: her Meeting gets three years of her attention to Worship and Ministry whether it knows what to do with it or not. Then along came a comment, never mind from whom in a recent Adult Education about rabbis not even considering people who want to convert to judaism until they have asked and been turned down three times.RantWoman is trying to decide whether to take that as a sign: Okay God, now what?

RantWoman writes: The following would fall under Quality of Worship. Maybe it was because I was sitting close to you at Meeting for Worship ... but during the first message you seemed to be rolling your eyes ALMOST as loudly as the World Champion of Audible Eyerolling sometimes does. Honestly, I have the same view of you doing audible eyerooling as of him: it's a nice accessibility feature, and I am unclear whether it is centered worship. It usually is not as high on my personal irritation list as other things, and sometimes...

What was bothering you the message accompanied by your audible eye rolling?

--The long exegesis about the circumstances of the Friend's fears of dropping her younest daughter off the catwalk at work?

--The throwing up several times as the image came over and over during the day?

--The driving home and coming upon the scene of someone having jumped off a bridge and then having to scour her neighborhood blog to find anyone willing to name the situation?

--something the message evoked from your personal experience or about someone close to you? Personally, I heard you sigh several times. I tease friends of mine that legally blind guests overlook a lot of housekeeping sins; I am wondering whether hearing loss also insulates some sitting nearby or not so nearby from distress about at least some audible eye-rolling. In any case, I am glad for a sense that after every one of your sighs, the message continued. I am glad of this particularly in light of:

--multiple other voices who seem to want ministry in easily digestible 30-second soundbites instead of the shared process of winnowing.

--multiple voices who howl about not understanding and seem to want the challenging just to go away rather than to sit with.

--multiple voices besides you who in general want messages to arrive perfectly formed and never ever by email rather than buffed into shape by community support of the birthing.

--another reviewer who said "well, it wasn't ministry. It was something unprocessed..." This reviewer at least got that one success of worship was how the community as a whole drew the message into worshipful fabric.We further talked about another recent Meeting for Worship where the whole community together held a number of difficulties very lovingly.

Have you considered the possibility if some message distresses you or does not seem obvious that you are to wait in faith for meaning to arrive?

Have you considered the possibility that you serve by being present, and even sighing repeatedly while a message arrives more directly to / through others?

RantWoman also was touched by the message and Literature Brain found much to work with:

--a Friend's anxiety about in a split second unintentionally doing something horrible that cannot be undone to a loved one.

--a Friend needing to be tender with the part of herself who knows to be horrified by what she kept seeing

--a Friend working with something weird that God has dropped into her lap.

--the power of shared observation of an actual event.

I found myself seasoning several messages, clear that the messages did not belong in the whole room, and clear that they are intended for someone though I am not sure for whom.

--After worship I told the Friend with the message, in my experience sometimes one just has to trust and pray, trust that one has what is needed when God drops something like that and that and that and maybe something else into one's lap and, more or less, that prayer is always a reasonable first way to deal and all the more if there is room to share

I did not tell the Friend of riding places with Tall Weighty Friend in the name of dialogue with "those other Quakers." I love riding with Tall Weighty Friend first because she is tall and, fuel economy be damned, her car has legroom in the back seat. Second, Tall Weighty Friend's default behavior when coming upon something horrible such as an accident is just to offer a prayer and a blessing.

--My radio last week was full of anniversary chatter about mass shootings at a local cafe and better mental health services as one way to cut down on gun violence. I was GLAD the message about the dream images supplanted possible anniversary ministry about the mass shootings.

I found myself thinking uncharitable thoughts of one person I remember offering ministry last year after the event. I sort of heard the ministry as "well I went by to bless the scene with my presence and yup it was real." Maybe my "I hear a lot of that Friend and have trouble hearing God around him" reflex is getting in the way of something I also remember about visiting the scene in the light of a new day. I remember seasoning a message myself about the same mass shooting events: My sister has moved to a new church. The organist there was driving by the woman who as shot on Capitol Hill. The organist stopped to help the woman and when it was clear that the woman would not make it, the organist stayed with her so she would not die alone. I consider that an act of profound spiritual accompaniment. ., a concept I do not hear very much but that could be applied a few different ways including perhaps simply to holding in worship.

BUT

Was there something in your audible eyerolling for the whole room OR was there someone the audible eyerolling was supposed to be a message for?

In the Light.

RantWoman

If you have made it this far whether or not meaning has arrived, perhaps you will enjoy one of these items. A very sweet one from Cherice Bock http://quakeroatslive.blogspot.com/2013/06/mama-does-god-hate-cars.html

Steven Davison on a gathered meeting. http://throughtheflamingsword.wordpress.com/2013/06/05/seeking-the-gathered-meeting/

Guy from Britain YM on trusting one's Meeting http://jollyquaker.com/2013/05/26/trust-in-the-spirit/ 

Confession the stuff in here about unity is making me really clear that maybe I just need to keep speaking about some threads BECAUSE I am out of unity with the prevailing understanding. Please hold that point in the Light.

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