Fresh Pond Minute on Corporate Support of Individual Ministries

Blog as filing cabinet item, stored here for ease of finding again even if interesting discussion ensues elsewhere.

Fresh Pond Monthly Meeting Minute on Corporate Support of Individual Ministries

http://nefriend.neym.org/FreshPond-SupportingMinistries.html

In the comments stream further detail from New England Yearly Meeting
http://www.nyym.org/leadings/PYM.htm

You, dear readers, were hoping to get by without a trademarkRantWoman tirade????

Sorry!

Not that sorry.

Cope!

First gratitudes at least:
1. RantWoman is rabidly, madly deeply grateful that these items are available in forms accessible to RantWoman.

2. RantWoman's experience is that God is bountiful, sometimes more bountiful than Friends know what to do with. RantWoman wonders whether some people find the labor-intensive aspects of Quaker mutual support sort of draining sometimes.

3. RantWoman is very interested to know what practices Fresh Pond Monthly Meeting uses to ensure a good pool of people for clearness and support committees.

The rest of these comments need to be held in the Light so that SOMEHOW the message will fall where it needs to. Those of fragile, easily rattled sensibilities are invited to stop reading and hold things in the Light.

What if the number of well seasoned leadings is larger than the capacity of the topical committees?

What if RantWoman is seasoning Leadings on others' behalf: just because some or another Friend cannot  do... does not mean ... does not need to be done.

What if (RantWoman means to write a generalized Live on Planet Earth item for her transit and transportation and eldercare ramblings on her other blog and maybe possibily has in mind not only for instance people who came up in a discussion at a local transit commission but also some Weighty Friends in her own Meeting)?

Hold that thought in the Light, PLEASE

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Horrors? Oops. Well. Care and Counsel!

The Bedbugs? (Put bedbugs into the search box to see what RantWoman is talking about) Have the Bedbugs hacked up another missive? The bedbugs in RantWoman's Meeting utterly disclaim and disavow any knowledge as to the provenance of the document below. In fact they are shocked, shocked, and also appalled even to appear in the same paragraph.




RantWoman herself handles the material with trepidation. RantWoman writes in a spirit of love and Truth of people and situations she cares deeply about. RantWoman takes full responsibility for crankiness, excessive zaniness, and the glorious gratitude for all the trouble she has fixating visually in actually sometimes getting unspeakably fixated on SOMETHING.



The RantWoman eye view of the world can see between 0 and 5 of any given object; this can be particularly alarming if RantWoman is seeing 0 of a Mac truck barreling alongside. RantWoman also writes with trepidation lest the, um, unique RantWoman eye view of the world and RantWoman's own overly endowed capacity to muddle and misapprehend somehow distort Divine messages as well.



RantWoman IS a recording clerk. RantWoman is aware that there are themes here entangling several recording clerks. RantWoman is holding that role in the Light. The information below is DATA. Sometimes data adds up one way; sometimes one throws data up on a screen, metaphorical PLEASE, no death by Powerpoint for the shared Light of many. Sometimes RantWoman really would NOT mind finding a whole lot less data to collect.



Needless to say, editing has NOT occurred and any resemblance between the events recorded here and actual Meetings for Worship with attention to Business at any actual Monthly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends are pure conjecture.





Minutes? Hours? of Bad Friend Monthly Meeting of the Society of Irreligious Fiends.



Once upon a time a fashion spread upon the land: We must eradicate every vestige of racism in our community's language and especially in our organizational bylaws. Yea verily, people of color are not tramping down the door coming to us. Some among us make a point to go nearer to others and listen and sometimes to struggle together; some among us wonder whether the reason is obscure Quakerese.



For instance, the word Overseers, lurking with greater or lesser visibility in different Friends communities, reeks of enslavement. The word is a veritable cataclysm of racial signification. We are told, the word Oversight, often seen in close proximity with or as a substitute for "overseers" is no better. So, to eradicate racism we would like to....drum roll please... rename the Oversight / Oops Well Committee. We would like the new name to be Care and Counsel.



Care and Counsel .Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel.



First we will publicize the proposed change in the newsletter of Bad Friend Monthly Meeting. Then we will or won't respond to questions we receive about history and consideration of other choices.



Then we will hand guests attending the White Privilege conference a big sloppy "Thank you for coming to town" kiss and discuss it in Meeting for Business right after the conference. And just to eradicate any whiff of discernment in Business Meeting we will bring a proposed bylaws change with Care and Counsel already enshrined as our choice. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel.



Care and Counsel .Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel! Shake those Quaker pom poms. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Set it to Music. Care and Counsel.



Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Next we will bring the change back to Meeting for Business where we will hear more than one person express specific concerns about the choice and we will AGAIN hear an inquiry about the word Oversight as opposed to Overseers. We will also hear notice of concerns about the use of oversee / oversight in contexts such as marriages where RantWoman thought it was God who oversees such things.Foreshadowing, RantWoman has decided that what made it into the final bylaws about this concern is not a change, not an improvement and therefore exempt from one very, very picky procedural point.



Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. RantWoman THINKS she has somewhere expressed concern to hear the "why" of different choices, not just some kind of internet poll of what choices are used.



Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel.



RantWoman had one conversation where she admitted to having trouble with the word Counsel because members of said committee have in the past offered counsel that misses big points in spectacular ways; RantWoman's counterpart did not inquire as to what RantWoman has in mind. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel.



Somewhere in here RantWoman extended an offer to come talk to all of said committee about several things. RantWoman met with one Friend who missed several of RantWoman's points; that Friend is due to go off the committee anyway. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel Care and Counsel



RantWoman had another conversation where "we don't see any reason to change the proposal." LOOK, RantWoman has asked questions about history. RantWoman harbors faint hope that there might be something concise in a b-b-b-book someone has already read. RantWoman finds it really hard to go look things up herself.



RantWoman is still stuck on do we need to change from Oversight, never mind whether she can live with Care and Counsel. But first, RantWoman would be ever, ever, ever so grateful if SOMEONE can just listen to RantWoman's question about history and help look something up, not tell RantWoman she does not need to know, not just chant Care and Counsel, Care and Counsel, Care and Counsel.



Care and Counsel .Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel! Shake those Quaker pom poms. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Set it to Music. Care and Counsel.



RantWoman repeated her offer to come talk to all of the Oops Well Committee, this time with a different emphasis. Instead Care and Counsel Friend was dispatched to visit RantWoman. RantWoman has a fine conversation with Care and Counsel Friend but Care and Counsel Friend again missed several of RantWoman's key points. Care and Counsel Friend is already wearing too many hats anyway and should get to share the task of talking to Rantwoman. Care and Counsel Friend absorbed about the same percentage of RantWoman's concerns as anyone else; it's just that if RantWoman speaks to several people and they all absorb different fractions, the cumulative effect is much stronger than if one Friend missess key points and then a fraction of what that Friend remembers gets lost in the retelling.



Care and Counsel .Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel! Shake those Quaker pom poms. Care and Coumsel. Care and Counsel. Set it to Music. Care and Counsel.



More months pass and Care and Counsel Friend, the principal champion of this effort finally was able to return to Meeting for Business. What is wrong with this picture? If this is such a universal concern, shouldn't one of the other members of the Oops Well Committee be able to present about this? After all, we are all ministers of God, right?



Care and Counsel .Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel! Shake those Quaker pom poms. Care and Coumsel. Care and Counsel. Set it to Music. Care and Counsel.



The week of Meeting for Business, Care and Counsel Friend's husband was in the hospital. Care and Counsel Friend was hurrying and needed to present two minutes, the one about renaming the Oops Well Committee and one with Care and Counsel Friend's Peace and Social Concerns hat on about upholding treaty rights for the Lummi people. RantWoman thinks presenting two such minutes was TOO MUCH and deeply wishes that Care and Counsel Friend had just stuck to the Lummi minute.



Care and Counsel .Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel! Shake those Quaker pom poms. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Set it to Music. Care and Counsel.



On the presentation went. Care and Counsel Friend still presented no information in response to RantWoman's question about history. Care and Counsel Friend did present a brief list of other names for this committee, but she presented them so fast that even RantWoman could not track them. RantWoman is used to gleaning information from Mr. JAWS the screen reader at Squirrels on Steroids speeds and RantWoman thought the delivery was too fast. The rest of the room was all more or less chanting Care and Counsel, Care and Counsel.



Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel.



Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel.





Look, okay, RantWoman is not of one mind within herself about the topic of whether and what to rename the Oops Well Committee, formerly called Oversight and now after a drum beat of months apparently to be called Care and Counsel.



At this point, SOME of the time RantWoman would like to hear a lot more about bigger more profound ways many in RantWoman's Meeting ARE actually engaging about racism and privilege. This includes:



--one Friend who reads widely of US history and keeps summarizing to such as RantWoman who will listen



--Various small but regular acts of faithfulness connected with for instance voter registration and the Friends Committee on WA Public Policy



--the daughter of a founding member of our Meeting who engages in many community connections in her neighborhood and will talk honestly about her mother's work as a social worker and the relocation of Japanese Americans during WWII.



--RantWoman who has done projects with many people of color whose first language is not English and who MUCH prefer that RantWoman t-t-t-TALK to them rather than write email.



--numerous other points of engagement that RantWoman never minds hearing from.



But back to renaming the committee. Sometimes RantWoman thinks well who cares one way or another about anything to do with racism or privilege? Everyone else is renaming the committee, it's a really important committee and Quakers arriving from elsewhere darn well need to be able to find the committee. So we should all just jump on the bandwagon.



Some of the time, RantWoman hears from Arguing Friend something along the lines of "I only know one Friend of Color who cares about renaming this committee...Well, yeah but very international Friends are way overrepresented among Friends of Color Arguing Friend knows. Just because the history of enslavement in the US is not the driving experience of international Friends does not mean that Friends in the US have nothing to answer about today as far as carryover from enslavement.



Further, RantWoman thinks Friend Who Often Opines about the Issue is more likely to hear from US Friends of Color than is either Arguing Friend or RantWoman. For comparison, RantWoman points to her experience as one flavor of blind person: somehow the presence of the white cane causes all kinds of other people to tell RantWoman things about their experiences that fall into the realm of "I didn't tell you about my day" when the people talking to RantWoman are around sighted people. From paying attention to LOTS of different blind people's experiences, RantWoman also knows to ask sometimes about different issues. Attending to this diversity of experience, RantWoman is frequently very reluctant to speak on behalf of all blind people, a tendency that is no darn help sometimes when simplicity and clarity is needed.



Simplicity? Clarity? You mean RantWoman not just being an obstructionist bitch whose sole goal is to drive Recording Clerks Crazy? Ummmm.



But no more Oversight. Oops Well. Care and Counsel it is. RantWoman feels SO thoroughly purified. Not! But RantWoman has PLENTY else to do and suggests everyone just hold the whole circus in the Light.



(Example attraction from current circuses while tending to statewide transportation issues, secondhand, originally from staff of a Republican state senator, "You mean we have to provide those people sign language interpreters?" Well, yeah, unless you want to get sued and put at risk every dollar of federal transportation funding the state receives.)



Care and Counsel .Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel! Shake those Quaker pom poms. Care and Counsel. Care and Counsel. Set it to Music. Care and Counsel.



And next month we are off to the Racism Exhibit at the Science Museum. Really!

(RantWoman DOES want to see this exhibit and definitely invites interested Friends along; MAYBE RantWoman will be on good enough behavior for everyone to appreciate the excursion.)

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Consultation on Quakers and Russia

Call for a consultation on Keeping our Promises for Quakers in Russia and otherse with a concern for Quakers in Russia:


http://maurers.org/promises/


RantWoman heartily endorses this kind of consultation and will holding in the Light and reading further with interest! RantWoman is posting this partly as a reminder to herself to look up more information sources to help track how the discernment evolves.

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Overseeing. Overlooking. Much Fog and Blur Over Something

RantWoman's Meeting is in the process of seasoning whether to rename the committee currently called Oversight and if so what to call it. Since Oversight is the name listed in organizational bylaws, if there is a change, the bylaws need to be amended too. In addition to multiple references to Oversight committee which would need to be changed, the bylaws also contain:

1. at least one reference to "Overseers" by which is meant members of said committee. RantWoman EXACTLY understands why the word Overseers is a problem. During the era of enslavement in the US, the overseer on a plantation was someone of African descent responsible for working the other slaves and keeping all the enslaved in line.

RantWoman is less clear about the word Oversight and whether it MIGHT be sufficient simply to replace "Overseers" with "members of Oversight committee" in the bylaws. RantWoman WISHES she felt any capacity to go all word nerd and quaker history geek on the problem. Instead RantWoman has raised the question in Meeting for Business and is interested to see what comes backin response.

2. two references to the word "overseeing" in the following contexts: "overseeing marriages" and "overseeing worship groups." In both cases, RantWoman in translator mode would reflexively change these terms to what she considers better Quakerese, something in the vicinity of the examples below.

"overseeing marriages" = "assisting couples in clearness for marriage and the Meeting in clearness to take marriages under the care of Meeting"

"overseeing worship groups" = "support and nurture of worship groups under Meeting's care"

RantWoman has a couple basic objections to the use of "overseeing" in the contexts above. For better or worse, Rantwoman does not hear the same resonance with enslavement in the word "overseeing" as with the word "overseers."

RantWoman DOES hear something she personally is HIGHLY allergic to, Quakers playing God, implying promises about more than it is humanly reasonable to promise..

RantWoman understands perfectly well that oversight has a more or less neutral administrative meaning. RantWoman understands this because "oversight" exists in RantWoman's mind with a cluster of other words like management, supervision, administration... which cluster and split different in English than the equivalent cluster of words in Russian. These words exist because the functions are needed, with full understanding of the limitations even of one's or one's organization's best efforts. Still, "oversight" gives RantWoman many headaches even without theology.

But when it comes to theology, worship groups are responsible for tending their own spiritual gardens; a committee of onlookers at best tends with a light touch. The phrase "overseeing marriages" even more insistently puts RantWoman in mind of a wonderful quote from George Fox about how we marry none but that is God's work.
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2013/01/marriage-as-god-ordained-for-our-good.html

THAT language,more than anything, is why RantWoman is allergic to the phrase "overseeing marriages." Furthermore RantWoman knows perfectly well that bylaws sometimes get read by people likely to have little interest in uniquely Quaker practices and this is exactly why RantWoman thinks it is quite reasonable to spell out the Quaker distinctives of the matter! In the world of translation, however much one strives for verbal economy, sometimes one gets to substitute a whole bunch of words for one word. RantWoman believes this is such a moment.

Alas, all of this is such Light as has come to RantWoman. RantWoman actually really, Really, REALLY wishes the bylaws changes would not keep coming to Business Meeting until RantWoman hears answers to her questions about history AND there is unity about what if anything to rename the committee in question.

So far, the bylaws changes keep showing up on the Business Meeting agenda but for various reasons not getting acted on. Wordsmithing bylaws in Business Meeting is one of those exercises in applied Quakerism that is either quite charming and educational or really tedious, but RantWoman thinks these suggestions need to be heard out loud and heard in separate Light from the question of what to call the committee now called Oversight!

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Show your work: seasoning Oversight

RantWoman is trying to get herself centered for a busy week. RantWoman is not clear that opining about what to call Oversight committee should be on the critical path to Monday morning centering. RantWoman suspects she has enough to say for several blog posts; this contribution is an effort to triage one issue RantWoman needs help about. If you have opinions, links, text excerpts to contribute to this discussion, please leave a comment!

First, this issue has been vexing folks for awhile. Fixing the terminology should in no way be equated with dealing with sundry thoughts about privilege, manifestations of privilege, whether we ARE actually called to eradicate every whiff of privilege OR just to recognize when we have a whole darn lot to be grateful for... In any case, fixing the terminology CAN wait for reasonable seasoning.

Next, Dude, PLEASE show your work.

RantWoman's blog roll has presented her with two blog posts referring to discussion by NPYM Faith and Practice Committee about what to call the committee sometimes called Oversight or Ministry and Oversight. North Pacific Yearly Meeting is in the throes of its approximately once / generation effort to update Faith and Practice and Faith and Practice committee is struggling about how to refer to said committee. Coincidentally the question of renaming said committee is alive in the life of both Friend Blogger's and RantWoman's monthly Meetings.
http://worldgame.blogspot.com/2013/09/quoting-from-facebook.html
http://worldgame.blogspot.com/2013/09/version-control.html

The first blog post refers to a conversation on Facebook. RantWoman would be ever so grateful to know which Facebook group the discussion is taking place in. RantWoman would not in the least mind a few excerpts of the discussion to which Blogging Friend is reacting.

RantWoman specifically further takes issue with  Blogging Friend's view that the question of what to call the committee sometimes called Oversight is not important or is unreasonable to talk about. Blogging Friend refers to conversation in his own Meeting so RantWoman is happy to see whether that conversation addresses the unexamined privilege reflected in Blogging Friend's views.

The committee currently called Oversight in RantWoman's Meeting is the committee seasoning what to present to Business Meeting.  RantWoman wants that committee to consider points related to discussion in other Meetings and to the work of Faith and Practice committee about this very topic. In the process Gmail autofill added someone to the to list who weighed in forcefully about issues of unexamined privilege.

RantWoman has emailed the clerk of Faith and Practice committee and is confident that Faith and Practice committee is attentive to the importance of what this committee gets called. Faith and Practice committee has a meeting coming up and RantWoman is confident attention will be paid to concerns even though RantWoman does not unite with Faith and Practice Committee's desire to refer to this committee as "Pastoral Care." RantWoman promises to hold forth about what to call the committee and why or why not in a separate post.
RantWoman concurs with a point made in the first blog post: unless Faith and Practice committee discerns resounding unity about what to call said committee, RantWoman thinks it is Faith and Practice committee's job to articulate something about the range of views and ongoing discernment in individual Meetings / worship groups and then to suggest some descriptive shorthand for said committee while referring to functions usually performed by that committee. Again, based on email with the clerk of Faith and Practice committee, RantWoman thinks the new draft includes paragraphs speaking to this.
The second blog post suggests, to RantWoman's ears that the final Faith and Practice would benefit from including some history in its work. Um, how on earth is history supposed to be reflected if a blog does not provide comments and there is no way quickly to track back to conversation on Facebook?

RantWoman is aware that the NPYM website contains drafts revisions of many sections of Faith and Practice. RantWoman feels no need to go quote individual passages just now. However when discussing texts, it makes RantWoman's screen reader addled brain really happy if the chunks of text under discussion get mentioned in blog posts along with links to the whole document.

RantWoman is not sure that having conversations about this topic across multiple different media streams and modes of communications will lead to either great Light or simplicity, but RantWoman is called to aimfor both, preferably from multiple directions, with or without hyperlinks.

Word!

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Minutes on Climate Change and Transformations

RantWoman means to see whether coherent thoughts can be woven from the following items in terms of what is my Meeting / Yearly Meeting / my own soul called to do, to do next in the presence of Climate Change. But RantWoman is posting these items together unwoven thinking that others might feel called to weave faster than RantWoman will



An interesting minute arising from holding Meeting for Business every day during a workshop at Friends General Conference 2013
http://pathsoflight.us/musing/2013/08/quaker-workshop-minute-on-climate-change/

Closing statement from the World Gathering, the Kabarack Call for Peace and Ecojustice, findable via http://www.saltandlight2012.org/

The Overconsumption / Overpopulation Minute seasoned but never approved by North Pacific Yearly Meeting
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2011/07/population-overconsumption-climate.html

2008 NPYM MInute on Climate Change
http://www.npym.org/archives/minute2008_climate.html

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Beloved Dead or not yet; from war zones. Mothers' Day

Rantwoman notes the passing last year of Arthur Satherwaite of Pullman Moscow Monthly Meeting. Arthur is one of the last men who came to the northwest as conscientious objectors during World War II. At the most recent Quarterly Meeting,  RantWoman was presented an opportunity she lamely declined to read more of Arthur in smudgy newspaper clippings on a poster board. RantWoman also roomed with Arthur's widow Florence and her sister but that is another story.

RantWoman's witness about the Peace Testimony is considerably more heterodox than mere memorials for a conscientious objector. One time on a way to a meeting, RantWoman found herself riding with someone whose son is a diplomat. At the time he was serving in Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom. RantWoman was obliged to mumble something like "I am holding you both in the Light because your kid is in a war zone. It does not matter what I think of the war!"

Recently, during RantWoman's last spell of coffeemaking for after 11:00 worship, RantWoman had occasion to greet a young man who grew up in our Meeting. The young man now serves in the military. Some of the time he is a machine gunner. Some of the time he is a recruiter. RantWoman cannot decide which job role is more in need of prayer.

In closing worship at Quarterly Meeting RantWoman was given a message calling to mind Arthur and the young recruiter / machine gunner and the following further thoughts..

It is the age of poverty draft, excuse me all volunteer army. Women now serve in combat. Servicemembers can be openly gay.

--What in the way of peace witness is needed for Quakers of today?

--What are Friends' thoughts or leadings as far as questions of universal service?

--Is there any place in our Meetings or our Friends' organizations where youth can look while seasoning such questions?


Many thoughtful well-centered Friends may wish to stop here. Friends willing to digress slightly and bear with more of RantWoman's intemperate rantings are invited to read on:

RantWoman notes two comments not recorded in the official record of a threshing session about structure in January:

--Someone suggested abolishing Peace and Social Concerns committee and assigning all their work to Worship and Ministry. RantWoman, who STRIVES to do all sorts of witness from a well-grounded spiritual center thinks on one hand that is a brilliant idea. On the other hand, RantWoman thinks her Meeting's present Worship and Ministry committee should find that idea terrifying, that capacity to do this is not what first leaps to mind about Worship and Ministry committee, and that her Meeting can appreciate the gifts of Worship and Ministry WITHOUT expecting them to tiptoe a single hair beyond their Light, like for instance to offer spiritually centered guidance about conscientious objection.

 --Someone else afterward suggested abolishing Worship and Ministry. Can anyone guess who or why? RantWoman does NOT suppose their work would get assigned to Peace and Solcial Concerns. But what IS needed?

Does this question occur to anyone besides RantWoman?

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Oh Wolves, what are you to teach us?

RantWoman notes a previous blog post linked below which referred to two wolves from Ojibwe spirituality which have recently showed up in Meeting for worship.




Here by request is appearance in our monthly newsletter of the Story of Two Wolves, encore by request from Friends who first heard it in Meeting for Worship:

.

The Objiwe tribe, the Original People of North America, have a story. It goes like this: Every person has within them two wolves. One is named Love and one is named Fear. Love creates all that is good in life: generosity, forgiveness, acceptance, peace, and all those things which open and expand our hearts and connect us to one another. Fear creates all that is destructive: greed, judgment, prejudice, anger, hatred, violence, and all that makes our own, and others', lives small, separate, and miserable. Love and Fear are always fighting. Do you know which one wins? The one you feed the most!



Here is the ministry which came immediately to RantWoman about the wolves along with some RantWoman does not know when to quit elements which Meeting for Worship was spared.
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2012/09/crossings.html

The recurrence of the wolves as a meme in our worship has, predictably generated furhter rants around RantWoman's Inner Blowtorch.

--Who does this bunch of darn palefaces think they are, appropriating elements of native spirituality with nary a native in sight? Yes, of COURSE RantWoman would probably hear the message more clearly if it came in the form of New Testament parables. Still, RantWoman knowingly willfully, intentionally attends worship in a place where messages are delivered by talking wolves. Can you say act of FAITH?

--Cue RantWoman's reflex to rant about Friends in Unity with Nature. HELLO. Nature is not in unity with us. Nature has earthquakes, fierce windstorms, tidal waves, blizzards, a whole wealth of WAYS TO KILL YOU. Wolves, by the way are top of the food chain predators. Yeah, PREDATORS.

--But, But wolves are pack animals. There should be more than two of them. It makes NO sense for them to be eternally at war?

--Oh Boo-hoo! Yep pack animals, and if the pack of wolves chomp on farmers' livestock, as was happening for a pack trying to get restablished in northeastern WA, the Department of Natural Resources (cough!) is still going to eliminate them.

--But, But, who SAYS love never involves fear or limits?

Last First Day's Meeting for Worship was nearly silent with only a few messages all right at the end of the hour. The wolves showed up in two messages right at close of worship.

Call Me Up and I'll Figure it Out for You Friend was called to preach the gospel of Love. Eye Roller Friend, who RantWoman believes, was NOT present when the wolves came up previously, was called to object in colorful spluttering presentation to false duality; the objections to false duality were delivered so vividly that RantWoman immediately got back a blechy feeling several hours later returning to reflect on the morning's messages and on the closing of worship right after Eye Roller Friend's message.

Friends are not at unity about how to respond when God trips over something as messages emerge from Eye Roller Friend. Some would prefer just to ignore him. RantWoman was seasoning a different message which deserves its own post. In the hours later wave of blechiness, RantWoman realized a comment such as "Thank you for expressing your concern so vividly so that we can hold you in the Light in your distress" might have been entirely on point. Maybe.

Oh Wolves, what are you trying to teach us?

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What happens in Meeting for Worship

RantWoman's inner blowtorch is hard at wrok seasoning exactly HOW MUCHnarrative theology to offer in response to an unrelated inquiry.

RantWoman quite likes this offering.

http://www.quaker.org.uk/what-happens-meeting-worship

RantWoman's Inner Blowtorch MAY have dialedback from scorch to gently toast in a day or so. Maybe

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October 18 Disabilities Awareness Response

Dear God

RantWoman is sincerely grateful for evidence of Friends interacting with the fruits of this month's leading.

RantWoman still keeps showing up in the conversation.

Please have mercy on us all.

RantWoman


Oct 19
Dear RantWoman and others,

I commend this video to you all. I was aware of a lot of what it suggests, but there were other parts that were new. I had long ago learned that you should always ask any person with a disability if they would like help. However, I think the wording of "how can I help you" was especially good in the setting. Maybe we should be asking: May I help you - and if so, how?

The visuals on what different legally blind see was very helpful.

I was aware of the etiquette re seeing-eye dogs (and any service dog), but it was good to see.

All the parts about orientation and how to tell blind people where things were (using the clock image) was really useful.

The statistics on how many folks use white canes and service dogs were surprising to me. It was good to be reminded about the best way to offer guidance.

The examples of how to NOT help were good because they were overdone to make a point, but it was easy enough for me to picture myself making at least some of the errors!

Thanks RantWoman
Friend who for the moment gets to get by without a Nom De Blog



Dear Friend...

I am glad you liked the video and I appreciate your leading to encourage others to interact.

To be honest, I would be grateful to know others are led to interact and maybe led directly to interact even before they hear your bllessings. We are all ministers of God and some of this exercise really is about asking everyone to consider what you as individuals might be called to do.

I am not sure it's fair to apply the concept of gathered meeting from the blog link at the bottom to this particular approach to mass eldering, but the second link does have some further links to resources about eldering that look great. Still, I appreciate many people having the same information so I do not have to interact one on one eighty zillion times about each topic. That does not mean I do not want to interact at all.

I am glad you appreciated the visuals about different vision patterns. I hope you also interacted with the text below about all the wonky extra stuff that goes on for me personally. Excuse me for jumping up and down on the point, but I did not really quit doing sudoku during worship just because of everyone's brilliant eldering. I quit doing sudoku after a procedure involving one eye incrementally messed up both eyes enough that it was just enough more work to do sudoku not to have any benefit as far as centering but there is a whole bunch of stuff I really cannot control.

The information about orienting people and the clock method for food are pretty standard. Personally, usually by the time food is on my plate I can see where things are but frequently the contents of dishes at potlucks are a total mystery until I ask someone.

I agree. The numbers about who uses white canes or seeing eye dogs sounded surprising as numbers. However, if I count up people I know and what they do or do not do,I think the numbers are pretty representative. I also think some blind people are just maniacs and others do denial or do not want to deal with anything that marks them or marks a difficult truth. But you are welcome to ask in person about the blind people as maniacs question. It also occurs to me that I should ask one couple I know whether they realize their walking patterns frequently take them across freeway on- and off-ramps.

As for making mistakes, believe me, I do too.

In the Light
RantWoman


http://johanpdx.blogspot.com/2011/10/gathered-meeting.html


http://inwardlight.org/

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October 17 Disabilities Awareness Item

Friends

My last multimedia contribution was so popular, here are a couple other items. I have looked at the first but not the second which I definitely mean to do. I have not thought about these items enough to pull out something obviously relevant to Meeting life—beyond the fact that I promised you all daily dispatches and I have other things I need to focus on today!

Assistant Secretary of Labor Kathleen Martinez on National Disabilities Employment Awareness Month.
http://www.dol.gov/dol/media/webcast/20110916-ndeams/

Last year about this time, there was some kind of event in observance of this occasion out at Microsoft. I got an invitation to go for free and told the coordinator of the (Friendly Neighborhood Center for Extreme Computing) that I was sure we needed to be there. I did not particularly ask permission; I just said we needed to be there. I prepared some topical materials and spiffed up the “This is my name and here is my elevator speech” routine I trot out about quarterly for trips to Microsoft. Alas, I forgot to invite any colleagues. The forgot to invite is telling: colleagues at the Friendly Neighborhood Center ... can be a mixed blessing. Just coordinating the logistical and cognitive aspects of getting from A to B is sometimes non-trivial for people who don’t drive, use wheelchairs, typically have variable coping strategies. My punishment for this oversight: I had to stay with our exhibits and did not get to hear Sec. Martinez speak except on a giant screen in a noisy exhibitor hall. Then I returned home and realized from a happenstance conversation that I frequently see her sister at a nearby bus stop. Her sister said they did not get to get together at all the last time she was in town.

On a different topic, the National Girls’ Collaborative Project Webinar on making events more accessible for Youth with Disabilities. Emphasis on computer science and STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math) fields.
http://www.ngcproject.org/events/events.cfm?eventid=202


In the Light

(RantWoman)

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October 2 Disabilities Awareness Item

Dear Friends

Please at least hold the topic of this message in prayer and feel free to hit delete without reading. If you cannot at least hold the topic in prayer before deleting, WHY EVEN HAVE PASTORAL CARE COMMITTEES?

...

I have received two requests to be taken off the mailing list, both from members of Worship and Ministry committee. I am to be true to the Light I am given about wanting SOME kind of common community language for conversations. I also find it frustrating to hear Friends complain endlessly about limitations of energy and then trying to shoot down energy that emerges. Again, I mean to send something out every day. Any day someone else sends something to this list before I get around to it, I will be happy to take the day off.

It is not my experience that God shows up only between 9 and 9 by phone and only in nice seasoned non-distressing increments; sometimes all I can do when I see how God shows up for others is to count my
blessings and be grateful to have only my own problems; some of the time one has no way necessarily of knowing what matters most. I mean it when I try to speak to everyone mattering, but I also think it’s a
call to be open and witness to the workings of God in others’s lives AND in our community even when we ourselves might not even want to look.

The second Friend requesting to be taken off the mailing list is the clerk of Worship and Ministry. Previously, the Clerk’s approach to mentoring is “season yourself;” I apologize but that sounds to me like
a suggestion that I show up in Meeting for Worship with giant salt and pepper shakers. This Friend suggested in person that I try Facebook which I find very hard to deal with or my blog. I DO NOT consider all of the content of yesterday’s attachment suitable for a blog, but if
Friends disagree….

I do need to take responsibility for not calling him during spring nominations season, and I already know I need to find an appropriate venue to discuss some concerns with him. Also, so many people had
already done so many other concerning things that I did not call because it seemed like situations were going to be stuck no matter what.

That Friend and I were part of a lively discussion during Adult Ed this morning about a number of themes:

--a need in any community for many kinds of pastoral care and emotional care of each other functions, and respect for different life experience and ways to fulfill these functions even when there is no paid clergy who might have encountered some of these topics in their training.

--whether committee members needed to be compatible or just able to negotiate conflicts

--whether Friends should show up to Business Meeting expecting their minds to be changed (or even just show up) This Friend was not even at the June 12 Business Meeting where I said over and over, I cannot  ell whether my problem is a wacky circuit in my own brain or a lot of “shut up” messages. I continue to test that issue. At Adult Ed, I said I think it’s important for Friends to show up at Business Meeting expecting that their minds MIGHT be changed and spoke to my own needs for conversations with many voices where one is heard at a time and the result is something maybe no one expected at the beginning.

Today I was chaperoning (The Safest Sex Offender on the Planet) or Adult Education so I am going to write about a few things to do with knowing him. What I mostly mean to write about is maps and how different people decide where to go or not go.

I know I go lots of places many people do not even attempt. I feel very lucky to be able to do this, but I also put a lot of energy into the topic. I have to spend a lot of time sometimes figuring out how
different people are going to get places.

Do people walk, ride the bus, use Access or taxis? What happens if people with different needs and eligibilities want to go someplace together?

Are the routes level for people with bad knees and manual wheelchairs or are they so steep that even a person with a power wheelchair or scooter does not dare attempt them?

What about the sidewalks? Are there sidewalks? Are the sidewalks level or are the full of the kind of concrete vs tree route discontinuities that send people to the ER with a broken wrist or, together with other events from one’s life history cause the words “white cane” to wander across one’s mind?

Are there curb cuts?

Are the curb cuts installed correctly or will a wheelchair user risk tipping over onto their face into the path of oncoming traffic if  actually trying to use the curb cut?

Are there stoplights? Do the stoplights have audio signals? How likely am I to get killed if I rely only on audio signals?

Do the streetlights usually work or do I need to remember to call in and complain?

How far is it to the bus stop? How far is it from the bus stop to my destination? Is anyone in the party going to have trouble travelling that distance? What are people bringing in the way of canes, walkers, shopping carts, backpacks, strollers, mysterious encumbrances?

How far is it from the bus stop to the Light Rail entrance? Is the elevator at my nearest Light Rail station working after MONTHS of announcements that the southbound side is out of order?

What is the sonic environment like around my destination? Can I get enough information out of the din to cross streets safely?

With all that on my mind, forgive me if I cannot always tell you how to find a good parking place.

But back to (the Safest Sex Offender on the Planet). This Friend and I had not really talked more than saying Hi in passing for a long time until after the January Meeting for Business when he was given permission to come to Adult Education on First and Third Sundays of the month. The first time he came he asked at the end of the session for people willing to serve as a chaperone.

I filled out the required paperwork (from the Department of Corrections / his program) and reviewed the tasks: it seemed doable. Well, it seemed doable but as with a whole lot of things everything is an experiment. This item is not going to elaborate on the experiment and trial and error points in mind, but there are some.

I learned right away from (the Safest Sex Offender...), he has a REALLY different map of the city than Ido. He never goes near parks, playgrounds, even bus stops. Just avoiding the bus means his transportation costs and picture are really different from mine. In stores the first thing he does is to grab a shopping cart so there is always something between him and wandering children.

Even though the travel details this Friend and I have to manage are very different, I find it interesting that thinking about travel is such a big thing for both of us.

This Friend is also a big coffee drinker and that made me think of another map drawn as part of a mapping exercise at a workshop I led during one of my disaster preparedness projects. There were several adults with different learning disabilities at the workshop and one of the men made the best map: it was his hand on a coffee mug!

Below my name are a couple illustrative blog links.

In the Light.

(RantWoman)
An item from a couple years ago. Now my mom has two bionic knees which is an improvement. Perhaps Friends who need to think about how Meeting ministers to each other as we age will find this evocative.
http://rantwoman.blogspot.com/2009/08/adventure-travel-crossing-second-avenue.html


Confessions of nutritional sins too.
http://rantwoman.blogspot.com/2009/10/diner-food.html


Again, when Friends need even more help getting around, can you count on curb cuts if you need a wheeled mobility device?
http://rantwoman.blogspot.com/2009/07/who-says-curb-cuts-help.html

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Furrther Bad Friend Leadings: Air Guitar

RantWoman would not mind in the least if her soul would focus and center on inspiring words such as this interview with civil rights campaigner James Lawson.

http://wagingnonviolence.org/2011/06/enough-activists-but-not-enough-convergence-an-interview-with-james-lawson/


Unfortunately the RantWoman showing up today is still seasoning self-nominations at the Association of Bad Friends.

Today RantWoman is seasoning self-nomination to Lead Air Guitar, Unprogrammed Worship Music Team.

Of course, if there is going to be a Lead Air Guitar, maybe there also has to be a Leading Audition Committee. RantWoman should only self-nominate for one role, but which?

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Opportunity

RantWoman needs a convention to link a series of posts about the latest in RantWoman's interactions with Quaker process, conflict resolution, deliberate or inadvertant mentoring, and the nominations cycle. RantWoman has decided that these will be tagged Charm School.

To assist RantWoman in documenting movements of spirit or otherwise among various Seriously Weighty Friends and Friends in Key Roles, RantWoman is going to need a whole bunch of Noms de Blog. RantWoman is meditating about whether to invite the Friends in leading roles (multiple senses definitely intended) to choose their own Noms de Blog or just to do it for them. RantWoman is leaning toward the latter. Hold the matter in the Light.

RantWoman is also:

--Holding Friends who complain that RantWoman sends too much email in the Light. Now some of them have assumed new roles where they are in line not only for the seethings that churn up after committee meetings but also the seethings that churn up from Business Meeting. Congratulations. Cope!

--Seasoning sort of febrile rants about:

--Money, and a shortage thereof

--The fact that it took a certain committee THREE MONTHS of committee time last year to come back to unity that, golly gee, it really is okay to ASK FOR MONEY after worship. Quaker Meeting is one cause RantWoman has NO problem asking for money for. Do you think it was RantWoman prolonging dialogue?

--Gosh gee, if you all had not spent so much time talking about RantWoman, not talking TO HER, and running processes that exclude her voice, maybe we could do something that opens us up to the spirit and the cash flow of new seekers. But what does RantWoman know?

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Call Me Eyore for Easter

RantWoman's Easter meditations have been well into Continuing Redemption zones even before she read this great item about The Harrowing of Hell.

http://sillypoorgospel.blogspot.com/2011/04/harrowing-of-hell.html


Maybe that is why RantWoman is still led to post, well after Easter.

RantWoman usually does not place great emphasis on her dreams, but lately she has been having two kinds of dreams. One is full of love and difficulty and subtle like a ton of bricks on the theme "be true to your Light. Take care of that of God within and don't neglect circumstances without!"

The other, which has gotten muddled in with Barclay on baptism, baptism by water and fire, and Easter meditations is more in the zone of "general bizarreness: black trash bags full of brown crumbly material shipped in by UPS. RantWoman thinks it is not a shipment she did anything to ask for and wonders why the heck she is to receive it comes complete with images of royalty in elaborate African costume and a voice of God overlay of "burial ritual needed." This dream does not seem to come yet with any resurrection but it's stuck in RantWoman's mind with the language of baptisms among the Baptists a much younger RantWoman worshipped with: "buried with him in Baptism and risen to walk in newness..."



Someone laid before an Interest Group RantWoman participated in a query RantWoman in take care of that of God within mode heard simply as "What gives you joy?" RantWoman was perplexed when what rose most unambiguously felt closer to "taking up one's cross" than unbounded joy.

RantWoman in this vein has been meditating about

--Times when she has been forced to discover when to get out of the way and let God work, when God has been working without RantWoman necessarily feeling or intentionally doing anything specific

--The joy of watching some parents explore new frontiers of life and emotion with their children and the big sigh RantWoman heard from Little Sister when RantWoman articulated the point that she hears how hard Little Sister is trying to communicate better than....

--The tsunami of communion RantWoman feels when adults are able to talk with love of difficult topics, especially when the talking leads to opening RantWoman could not possibly have predicted.

--When one needs for some reason to be angry or really, really, really pissed off, space to be present with that reality--without the world blowing up. Okay, RantWoman MAYBE should refrain from using the phrase "pissed off" when giving vocal ministry about this topic in Meeting for Worship. Maybe.

But RantWoman heard this great quote by Rob Lowe about the minister in FL who burned a Q'uran: Jesus would be pissed about that.


This Easter blog entry also speaks to RantWoman though RantWoman's particular cross plows more directly into other issues.

As we have talked about the cross, what has come to me is that we don't just tell the story of the crucifixion one time and then we're done with it. We tell the story over and over, and at different times, it means different things.

Sometimes when I tell my story, I am so angry. I am angry that this happened to me and I want to know, where were my angels? Why did God let this happen? I am angry and I do not want to think that this story can be redeemed.

But sometimes I do, and I can see little bits of Light.

http://questforadequacy.blogspot.com/2011/04/cross.html

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May Day: Shoe Salesman needed, again

RantWoman in tendentious twenty-something ranter mode would be finding some nice link to articles about yesterday's May Day Immigrant Rights rally. RantWoman in phlegmatic pushing fifty mode spent a few moments on the sidewalk upholding the procession before proceeding to her daily internet fix. RantWoman is really glad to hear another flock of Friends just went off to look at tulips!

RantWoman had not realized until today that May Day has also been proclaimed Blogging Against Disablism Day. RantWoman has assorted festive ways to celebrate.

Read a REALLY INTENSE blog post
http://blobolobolob.blogspot.com/2011/05/blogging-against-disablism-day.html

Consider being thankful to identify with fewer than a third the themes mentioned.

Have a good yuck with Ferrener Husband. Ferrener Husband and RantWoman went to wonderful recital recently. On the way back drop RantWoman off, we were giving each other a hard time: Ferrener husband wears hearing aids, has to keep practicing to say certain consonants right and is lost when people turn their back while talking, among other obvious tells. However because he lip reads really well in two languages, hears a lot with hearing aids, and speaks very clearly, lots of people think he is not deaf.

RantWoman for her part has lots and lots of fog and blur, grow your own lavl lamps, really entertaining double or more vision, detail vision in a small field and not necessarily the ability to see Mac trucks if she is not looking the right way. But RantWoman can make it to the bus stop near her abode without Thwack the Badly Behaved White Cane, so RantWoman is not really blind either.


Remember the shoe salesman from awhile ago, the one who was ecstatic at the prospects of a market when he showed up on an island where everyone is barefoot?
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2011/02/shoes-for-barefoot.html


RantWoman admits good conflict resolution practices would be to speak to the stars of her weekend's festivities directly and RantWoman is shortly off to make phone calls. Let's just say, that starry-eyed shoe salesman REALLY needs to put in an appearance.

Among the topical themes, with titles of persons pointedly not attached:

--Suggesting a decision on RantWoman's behalf without asking RantWoman about any details before making the suggestion.

--Offering RantWoman not the help she asks for but various forms of inadequate, unhelpful, off-topic change the subject but oh so sincere efforts.

--Complaining that one does not understand the situation but then complaining of being overwhelmed when RantWoman offers any detail.

--Complaining of being overwhelmed when RantWoman offers even a tiny amount of detail and then not even being willing just to engage about gratitude not to get to experience the detail.

--Formulating one part of the conversation in a way that sounded to RantWoman like "Go away until we evolve" but did not either offer a path to such evolution or appear to envision where RantWoman and others might manage to evolve together.

Probably RantWoman should have her head examined for still being in the conversation. There would be that shoe salesman somewhere though.

Lord have mercy on us all!

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Morning Light

RantWoman is posting partly in an effort to demo some blogger features so she can explain them to other screen reader users. RantWoman promises to avoid further technical digressions, except to the extent that the technical digressions are somehow theoretically on RantWoman's path to more solid economic presence in the world.

RantWoman would like a steady infusion of tea to counter the pollen from the lovely cherry blossoms. RantWoman will settle for being glad she can detect new pink fuzz on a row of trees near her abode.

The nighttime temps are also holding steady enough above freezing that RantWoman expects very soon to succumb to temptation and GET HER HERBS PLANTED and out onto the balcony.

Yesterday was our Meeting's annual book sale. Easter is late. Quarterly Meeting is early. It's a La Nina year which has nothing to do with anything but sounds nicer than fretting about triple disaster earthquake / tsunami / nuclear power plant events in Japan. Anyway, the book sale seems early because of other schedule contortions.

Despite RantWoman's fitful efforts to avoid acquiring more PRINT, RantWoman is reflecting on two acquisitions at her Meeting's annual book sale, the Reina Valera edition of the Bible in Spanish and a first edition copy of Reweaving the Web of Life, a book on feminism and nonviolence. RantWoman has enough people in her life who care about the Reina Valera to justify the shelf space. The first printing of Reweaving the Web... has Blind Roommate on the cover and RantWoman's previous copy long ago got lost in some move. Still, RantWoman is reflecting on how differently she feels about some of the chapters now than when she first owned the book.

RantWoman is still vexed by Barclay, lately in connection with Worship. Those assembled last night like Barclay's thoughts about what actually happens during silent worship. RantWoman demurs, though, about Barclay's vehemence regarding music, forms and schedules. Perhaps God showed up more reliably for Barclay than for RantWoman; RantWoman generally has to make regular and orderly time allotments--and still sometimes needs more on top of that.

This month, RantWoman's computer is still ill. SOME of the time RantWoman is finding this good discipline forcing RantWoman to do numbers of things in more measured and intentional ways. RantWoman went back to reading visually, with a magnifier. This was painful enough that RantWoman is glad to have printed the next chapter in larger print. RantWoman still gets to whine and grumble about it being so tough to skim. Yeah, right and RantWoman gets to be happy to have enough vision both to try to skim and to have something to complain about. Or Rantwoman gets to think in terms of mobile devices...or...


RantWoman is grateful FINALLY to have hit some good conversations about things on her mind. There is more to say, but such as have already occurred also need more chewing and Quaker process is still inching along.

RantWoman MEANS to post some reflections from last weekend's Salt and Light event in Seattle. RantWoman is vexed: RantWoman offered to take notes and needs to treat the notes seriously. However, RantWoman showed up as well. Stay tuned.

The short version: RantWoman was listening to sermons on a few short Bible verses as well as stark and powerful accounts of living the Peace Testimony under VERY challenging circumstances, and RantWoman felt strongly eldered just to get over it about a whole bunch of topics not really to her taste and comfort. The topics are still not to RantWoman's taste, but RantWoman has decided just to get over it and work with who and what is available.




RantWoman is holding queries from the following post:
http://aquakerwitch.blogspot.com/2011/03/happy-eostara.html


What signs in nature tell you we're on the balance point between Winter Solstice and Summer Solstice, between Brigid and Beltane?


What's happening in your own spiritual life that reflects what's happening in nature?


How are you still stuck in the cocoon or shell of winter?


What environment are you emerging into?


How are you transformed as you emerge from your shell or your cocoon into spring?



RantWoman has an email correspondent on a non-spiritually-themed email list whose outgoing mail has Bible passages in the footer. Today's message:


faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who
comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek
Him.
--Hebrews 11:1,6 (NASB)

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Worse Auntie / Grow your own Lava Lamp

Warning: children who do not need more distractions from their paths of goodness and purity should click away quickly. Quaker children who do not have Santa Clause around anyway may continue reading as long as you also acceptRantWoman's prayers regarding your immortal soul and ask some trusted adults to help season the following.

RantWoman, for her part is thinking of that phrase "Let there be peace on Earth and let it begin with me." RantWoman is thinking if that's where to start, boy are we in trouble.

RantWoman's clearness committee recently asked her what would happen if RantWoman were more open around Meeting about things to do with vision loss. RantWoman found herself thinking, careful what you ask for.

RantWoman mostly has not filled her audience in on every weirdo visual effect that comes her way. One or two groupies ask in low-key ways for updates and RantWoman repeats the family mantra, "my eyes have not fallen out of my head yet." RantWoman has a time or two shared some or another nugget from all her optho frequent flyer experiences with someone who brought up something related in conversation. RantWoman also mentioned a popcorn meeting and the interaction of eyes and light.
http://rantwomanrsof.blogspot.com/2010/02/popcorn-factory-minority-report.html

RantWoman has the strong, unshakeable impression that even those increments are too much for many around her. RantWoman so far has not made her clearness committee or another topical committee sit with a whole bunch of messages coming RantWoman's way that sound to RantWoman's febrile sensibilities too much like "shut up" when RantWoman THINKS the speakers could do fine with "I don't know how to deal with what you just told me." But never mind; save that thought for a couple other different threads. Let's start with Bad Auntie .

Remember Bad Auntie the sudoku-obsessed would-be role model of proper comportment during Meeting for Worship. Here is more of the story:

Bad Auntie rides the bus to worship. The Sunday bus run features several clumps of people getting on and later decamping to various houses of worship. The effect is centering and inclusive in a much gentler way than the multicultural maelstrom aboard Metro the rest of the week. RantWoman likes the walk to the bus. She likes the sense of many different forms of worship in one vessel. She likes caffeine and a walk at the other end of the route. In short, RantWoman's routine IS preparing for worship even though it might as well be something from another planet to many.

Then there is sudoku. RantWoman is VERY glad to be able to see enough to do sudoku, provided the print is big enough and RantWoman can use fat pen. RantWoman likes hard puzzles and did not always finish her puzzles during her bus ride, so there is A LITTLE bit of addictive behavior involved in doing so for a few minutes at the beginning of worship while RantWoman settles in, centers, gets a handle on her ill-behaved eyeballs' efforts to shift focal length.

There is also another messy eyeball issue or RantWoman's eyeballs interacting with light conditions in our worship room. RantWoman's pupils do not dilate and constrict correctly or very fast in response to changes in light conditions to begin with. This means for instance that even though RantWoman is an optho frequent flyer, she gets to skip dilation some of the time simply because too many gallons of drops have to be poured in to have any effect.

The worship room at RantWoman's Meeting has one glass wall facing south with plenty of bright sunlight on good days. The other three walls have a row of small windows several feet above the floor all the way around the room. RantWoman most of the time feels so grateful to be among community that she does not even attend to the fact that there is NO place in the worship room where RantWoman can count on being visually comfortable. Bright sunlight has one set of issues; clouds and glare have a completely different set.

RantWoman tries glasses on, glasses off, sunglasses on, sunglasses off, large-brimmed hat on, large-brimmed hat off and various combinations of all of the above. Each takes RantWoman to different frontiers of fog and blur, possibly to slapstick effect. None of them take RantWoman measurably closer to being able to center. One thing that does REALLY help is focussing on something close, which sudoku does WONDERFULLY.

Apparently silently doing sudoku during Meeting for Worship for silent waiting on God greatly distresses many in RantWoman's Meeting. Various people, members of Worship and Ministry and otherwise eldered RantWoman about this. No one got the full dissertation here but They all went "Oh, we had no idea..." when RantWoman talked about both generalized eye stuff and centering preparation for Meeting for Worship. Some people were more categorical than others about wanting RantWoman to stop. RantWoman said thank you for your opinion. Then RantWoman got sent off to a clearness committee and learned of the issue of the child objecting to RantWoman's example written of earlier. RantWoman still thanks the child for speaking up. RantWoman still thinks it's parents' job to teach children what is right regardless of what others around one may be doing.

Tonight Bad Auntie is ba-a-a-a-ck, only now she's Worse Auntie. Worse Auntie is not only unrepentant, she could really fast get into elder with a snarl mode! Worse Auntie is wishing she had said "why does it bother you? Please tell me how this specifically impedes your ability to worship? In particular what is it about being present with other people's pain and difdficulties that you find challenging?"

RantWoman / Worse Auntie personally really cannot see well enough to be annoyed by all kinds of quiet behaviors in Meeting for Worship and Worse Auntie MIGHT be tempted to tell some to be glad someone else's quiet behavior is the worst problem they have in life. RantWoman might also say she is darned glad to be able to do sudoku.

RantWoman might even read people the riot act about the lighting in the Worship Room. There are a million different ways light conditions in the worship room can be uncomfortable between light conditions, things in RantWoman's eyes that do not work normally, and variables like hay fever and sleep. If RantWoman only went places that are visually easy to deal with she would have no life and Meeting for Worship is important. Unfortunately, not only is this a whole welter of oddball messages, RantWoman also gets to figure out how to deal with the "shut up / I don't know how to deal" part she is already far too well-acquainted with.

But hold that thought. Worse Auntie, among other things has some ideas about things she needs around her Meeting. RantWoman needs to communicate specifically with children and her clearness committee has been a great help about ways to get that started. RantWoman has ben gratified too by reaction to a generalized query departing from RantWoman's reflection: other adults also like some of what is on RantWoman's mind. Now that is being seasoned and RantWoman gets to think first of all about dealing with vision loss and talking about it to children.

Worse Auntie and sudoku matters keep showing up though, and keep showing up and keep showing up, and RantWoman is going to have to figure out and strive to articulate some more matters involving adults as well before she even wants to wade into talking to kids. Ai-yi-yi-yi.


Then there would be Conflict is a Gift of God Friend, Friend who is a walking encyclopedia about many topics but has trouble sharing space in conversation with some categories of people. RantWoman had been detecting this problem to really serious and stifling effect for months before certain conversations melted down. RantWoman STILL feels no leading to have attempted to play fairy godmother or to sugarcoat the problem. RantWoman notes that it took Conflict is a Gift of God Friend SEVERAL more months to absorb what seemed to RantWoman VERY direct simple statements pointing in that direction.

During the several months, Conflict is a Gift of God Friend more than once engaged RantWoman's physical safety radar REALLY hard in situations where RantWoman otherwise would very much have enjoyed certain exercise-related activities with said Friend. RantWoman keeps turning over this issue. NOTHING is shaking her clarity that she owes NO ONE, not said Friend, not the clerk of Oversight committee, not the Pope, any explanations for her rules. RantWoman does not even apologize for blunt emails connected with the circumstances even if the point was not crystal clear in the email.

Furthermore, RantWoman considers waiting around for MONTHS while someone else gets a message involving the laws of physics completely unreasonable in the specific context she has in mind. RantWoman does not need argument. RantWoman does not need to be told she is being ridiculous. RantWoman does not need ANYONE telling her what is or is not in her own head! Nor does RantWoman need anyone without exactly the right cred telling her how to get about with Ambassador Thwack the badly-behaved white cane.

RantWoman is pretty sure, despite having told said Friend multiple times of her concerns that he still has no clue about RantWoman's issues. Unfortunately he is not alone; RantWoman was explaining the issue to someone else recently. Conflict is a Gift of God Friend is one of a couple people in RantWoman's life who INSIST they should help RantWoman navigate the mean streets, impose their own agendas, INSIST they know more than RantWoman about what RantWoman needs and are completely incapable of listening. Misery does not love company and Worse Auntie could easily ship them both off for reeducation in Quakerism 101, the listening module.

The other night before the Barclay reading group plunged into our Barclay time machine and flirted with the concept of Barclay the Musical, others were checking in with Conflict is a Gift of God Friend. Conflict is a Gift of God Friend still has eye yuck which his doctors have decided involves edema and capillaries looming large in his visual field, "like the crack patterns of dried up mud." He also has annoying floaters, but apparently he has managed to avoid the Grow Your Own Lava Lamp effects RantWoman dances with on top of oddly functioning pupils, double-vision, fog and blur multiplied with bifocals. At least that would be the impression from RantWoman asking teasingly during the checkin.
RantWoman is meditating about her motivations in insisting on Taking up Space in a public conversation about her issues too. RantWoman is sorry someone else is having eye yuck. RantWoman is NOT sorry for taking up space in the same conversation. RantWoman feels like a very large 3-year-old about the topic. What's worse, Worse Auntie is who's on duty for adult supervision. Happy Christmas to all; Lord have mercy on us all.

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Bad Committee: too much clearness, not Quakerese

RantWoman has lately been asking herself whether certain recent experiences mean she is uniquely overachieving in several areas of dysfunction or whether she is just gifted about walking into other's dysfunctions--or both.

RantWoman is amused by the following item about dysfunctional Clearness Committees

http://www.friendsjournal.org/bad-committee-no-clearness-you



RantWoman has written elsewhere of a previous clearness committee experience, but RantWoman feels she must identify some dysfunctions along with query as to whether the problems are unique to RantWoman:



--Clearness Committee as the wrong venue for developing job descriptions for key committee.

--Clearness Committee as wrong training venue for would-be practitioners of conflict resolution.


--Clearness Committee as process check about the degree to which the concept of Clearness Committees is alive in one's Meeting.


--Clearness Committee as language laboratory: RantWoman became even clearer as a result of her previous committiee than she already was that Compost is appropriate Quakerese. RantWoman will leave to her readers' imagination terminology management about what Compost would be in more or less standard English, with one exception, the question of Register.

Register is a language geek term for the concept that people of different station sometimes use different words to mean the same thing. Sometimes interpreting wildly different phrases all to one term in a target language means the interpreter is oversimplifying, failing to convey nuance. RantWoman here cites the testimony on equality, in addition to her struggles about Quakerese: Compost refers to several different phrases in standard English, all of which are left to readers' imagination.

(Speaking of Compost, RantWoman apologizes: she still has not gotten around to interacting with the Composting Quakerism podcasts.)

--Clearness Committee as vessel to generate more material for one's spiritual compost heap. RantWoman finds herself meditating about the words condescending, patronizing and dismissive. RantWoman could also find cause to meditate about appropriate Quakerese for "insensitive" and "clueless." RantWoman wishes any Friend had a monopoly on the behaviors that evoke these adjectives. At the moment RantWoman is composting a good bit of raw data in the context of another discussion in her Meeting. RantWoman MEANS to post about the other discussion, but is pointedly NOT clear yet what to post, especially while things are getting worked out in her Meeting's seasoning process.


Meanwhile, RantWoman has finally gotten around to asking for a clearness committee to help her adjust her presence in Meeting life after midlife vision meltdown. True to RantWoman form, RantWoman has become clear that she has plowed into problems bigger than her own issues alone; RantWoman is VERY grateful for sounding board while she figures out more about her own issues and bigger problems.


RantWoman is also VERY excited to have recently attended a workshop about clearness and support committees and RantWoman is very excited about the possibility of inviting Marge to her Meeting at some point in the future.

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